Ana enters Christian's playroom and is in shock. She isn't sure where to focus, as there are so many strange and foreign things. She spends two paragraphs on shackles and paddles and whips, and then comes to rest on the bed.
"But what dominates the room is a bed. It's bigger than king sized, an ornately rococo four-poster with a flat top. It looks late nineteenth century. Under the canopy, I can see more gleaming chains and cuffs. There is no bedding . . . just a mattress covered in red leather and red satin cushions piled at one end." -- this sounds like the most uncomfortable bed in existence. god, you would just stick to it. or slide around awkwardly, if you're sweaty. how is this practical? Also, Ana is an English major, not a furniture appraiser. And though Christian has eclectic style, I doubt the bed he has clad in leather is 200 years old.
Ana asks Christian what the room is for - because it isn't immediately apparent - and suggests that he's a sadist.
"'I'm a Dominant.' His eyes are scorching gray, intense. (this is not a real thing.)
'What does that mean?' I whisper.
'It means I want you to willingly surrender yourself to me, in all things.'
I frown at him as I try to assimilate this idea.
'Why would I do that?'
'To please me,' he whispers as he cocks his head to one side, and I see a ghost of a smile.
Please him! He wants me to please him! I think my mouth drops open. Please Christian Grey. And I realize, in that moment, that yes, that's exactly what I want to do." -- it really was too easy with Ana. she can't be sexually selfish because she doesn't know what pleasure is. good job, Christian.
He explains how everything works in vague terms - there are rules and she needs to follow them and he will be joyous. Amazing.
"'Okay, and what do I get out of this?'
He shrugs and looks almost apologetic.
'Me,' he says simply.
Oh my. Christian rakes his hand through his hair as he gazes at me.
'You're not giving anything away, Anastasia,' he murmurs, exasperated. 'Let's go back downstairs where I can concentrate better. It's very distracting to have you in here.' He holds his hand out to me, and now I'm hesitant to take it.
Kate had said he was dangerous; she was so right. How did she know? He's dangerous to my health, because I know I'm going to say yes."
He leads her downstairs and tells her to sit. She asks him about the paperwork he'd mentioned earlier, and he tells her about the contract, and its purpose (he needs to know her limits, she needs to know his, I'm pretty sure that's it, actually. I doubt we need a full document for this). Christian tells her that if they don't have this kind of relationship, they'll have no relationship at all. Ana is perplexed.
"'Why?'
'This is the only sort of relationship I'm interested in.'
'Why?'
He shrugs. 'It's the way I am.'
'How did you become this way?'
'Why is anyone the way they are? That's kind of hard to answer. Why do some people like cheese and other people hate it? Do you like cheese?'" -- this is the biggest cop-out ever. "why is anyone the way the are?" that's very philosophical and not even close to an acceptable answer. also, why are you deflecting to dairy products? focus, Christian.
He finally gets his shit together and takes her to his study to give her a copy of the rules and to talk about them. Ana puts up a fight about being given money for clothes (whyyyy????) and she doesn't want to exercise 4 days a week. They agree on 3. Christian hands Ana his list of hard limits, and asks her if there's anything she'd like to add.
"'Is there anything you won't do?'
'I don't know.'
'What do you mean you don't know?'
I squirm uncomfortably and bite my lip.
'I've never done anything like this.'
'Well, when you've had sex, was there anything that you didn't like doing?'
For the first time in what seems like ages, I blush.
'You can tell me, Anastasia. We have to be honest with each other or this isn't going to work.'
I squirm uncomfortably again and stare at my knotted fingers.
'Tell me,' he commands.
'Well . . . I haven't had sex before, so I don't know.' My voice is small. I peek up at him, and he's gaping at me, frozen, and pale - really pale.
'Never?' he whispers. I shake my head.
'You're a virgin?' he breathes. I nod, flushing again. He closes his eyes and looks to be counting to ten. When he opens them again, he's angry, glaring at me.
'Why the fuck didn't you tell me?' he growls." -- oh, I don't know, Christian. maybe because she's known you for a week and you guys haven't talked about more than how she likes her tea. oh, and cheese.
CHAPTER 8
Christian is having some kind of internal crisis at the news that Ana is a virgin: on the one hand, he's furious but on the other (as we all know from Grey), he's extremely pleased that she hasn't been tainted ("At least I don't have to worry about every dick she's slept with.").
"'I knew you were inexperienced, but a virgin!' He says it like it's a really dirty word. 'Hell, Ana, just showed you . . .' he groans. 'May God forgive me. Have you ever been kissed, apart from by me?'
'Of course I have.' I try my best to look affronted. Okay . . . maybe twice." -- You can't blame him for asking, Ana. 4 days ago was the first time you ever held hands with a boy. We were all wondering.
Christian continues to be baffled.
"'And you're seriously discussing what I want to do, when you have no experience.' His brows knit together. 'How have you avoided sex? Tell me, please.'" -- Honestly, Christian, it's not that difficult. And let's be honest, there's like an 85% chance that she'd have been in for some serious disappointment if she hadn't avoided it.
"'Come,' he murmurs.
'What?'
'We're going to rectify the situation right now.'
'What do you mean? What situation?'
'Your situation. Ana, I'm going to make love to you, now.'
'Oh.' The floor has fallen away. I'm a situation. (well yeah, Ana. you didn't think he actually considered you a real person, did you?)
........
'I thought you didn't make love. I though you fucked hard.' I swallow, my mouth suddenly dry.
He gives me a wicked grin, the effects of which travel all the way down there."
Christian pulls her into his arms and tells her how brave she is - which I don't fully understand because she's just horny, but whatever. He asks her to allow him to make love to her (eugh) and takes her to his bedroom.
"I am quaking like a leaf. This is it. Finally, after all this time, I'm going to do it, with none other than Christian Grey." -- I think it should be of some concern that she is still talking about sex like she's in junior high.
Christian begins to strip and Ana makes every observation that a normal person would make under the circumstances. Except one.
"He steps out of his Converse shoes and reaches down and takes his socks off individually. Christian Grey's feet . . . wow . . . what is it about naked feet?" -- Nothing. There is absolutely nothing hot about naked feet. Also, I'd enjoy this scene much more if he had taken both socks off simultaneously. To get the imagery out of your head, have this gif of a dog wearing socks.
Christian continues to blow Ana's mind by not doing too much, and she talks about her vagina in strange terms.
"He leans forward, running his nose up the apex between my thighs. I feel him. There."
"Not taking his eyes off mine, again he runs his tongue along my instep and then his teeth. Shit. I groan . . . how can I feel this there?" -- we get it, Ana. we do. we really do. also, a query: is he running his teeth along your instep or his tongue along his teeth? this is very important in how we read this scene.
After some fooling around, Christian pulls out a condom.
"He kneels up and pulls a condom onto his considerable length. Oh no . . . Will it? How?
'Don't worry,' he breathes, his eyes on mine. 'You expand, too.'" -- this is still not sexy. also the US sex education system has severely failed Miss Anastasia Steele.
Abstinence only, kids.
And now for the main event.
"'Aargh!' I cry as I feel a weird pinching sensation deep inside me as he rips through my virginity." --sorry, this was just too fucking hilarious to leave out.
When it's over - or, rather, when they're on a short break from "doing it" - Ana takes stock of what's happened.
"I stretch out beside him, feeling loose-limbed, my bones like jelly, but I'm relaxed, deeply relaxed. I grin at him. I can't stop grinning. Now I know what all the fuss is about. Two orgasms . . . coming apart at the seams, like the spin cycle on a washing machine, wow." -- this is a terrible analogy. if my washing machine was ripping my clothes apart at the seams, I'd be furious.
"'Open your mouth,' he commands, and thrusts his thumb in my mouth. My eyes fly open, blinking wildly." -- ELJ really is making this much too easy.
As we all know, they each have better orgasms than they deserve, and eventually Ana falls asleep. When she wakes up, Christian is gone, being sullen and mysterious on his piano.
"I'm mesmerized, watching his long, skilled fingers as they find and gently press the keys, thinking how those same fingers have expertly handled and caressed my body. I flush and gasp at the memory and press my thighs together."
They talk for a little while about the piano and how Christian has played since he was six. He explains that he doesn't sleep well and is not used to sleeping with anyone. They go back to the bedroom and Ana tries to touch his chest, but he steps out of her reach and tells her to get into bed. He puts on a shirt and climbs in next to her.
"He clambers in beside me and pulls me into his embrace, wrapping his arms around me so that I'm facing away from him. He kisses my hair gently, and he inhales deeply.
'Sleep, sweet Anastasia,' he murmurs, and I close my eyes, but I can't help feel a residual melancholy either from the music or his demeanor. Christian Grey has a sad side."
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