"I stretch out and open my eyes. It's a beautiful May morning, Seattle at my feet. Wow, what a view. Beside me, Christian Grey is fast asleep. Wow, what a view."
She wanders around the bedroom until she finds the bathroom - honestly how many doors can he have? - and she looks at herself in the mirror.
"Do I look different? I feel different. I feel a little sore, if I'm honest, and my muscles - jeez, it's like I've never done any exercise in my life. You don't do any exercise in your life. My subconscious has woken. She's staring at me with pursed lips, tapping her foot. So you've just slept with him, given him your virginity, a man who doesn't love you. In fact, he has very odd ideas about you, wants to make you some sort of kinky sex slave.
ARE YOU CRAZY? She's shouting at me." -- I know Christian is the one seeing a therapist, but you might want to seriously consider it. I'm sure he or she could help you do something about that semi-sentient, self-deprecating subconscious you have going on there. He or she might also be able to help you get over the "you should hate yourself for sleeping with someone who doesn't love you" and "you're worth less after you have sex" myths that have been far too ingrained in your tiny mind. Once again, sex education has failed you.
Looking at you, America.
"I wince as I look in the mirror. I am going to have to process this. ..... I shudder. I'm bewildered and confused. My hair is its usual way-ward self. Just-fucked hair doesn't suit me." -- excepttttttt that it's not "just-fucked" hair, it's "I've been sleeping for 7 hours" hair. there is a difference.
Ana searches her purse for hair ties (to tame her wayward locks), and, upon finding them, puts her hair in pigtails.
"I find two welcome hair ties at the same time in my bag and quickly tie my hair in pigtails. Yes! The more girly I look perhaps the safer I'll be from Bluebeard." -- why the fuck is this even a thought that crosses your mind? "YES NATURALLY THE MORE GIRLY I LOOK THE LESS I WILL ATTRACT THIS HETEROSEXUAL MAN." I'm starting to think you deserve everything you have coming to you.
In case you're wondering, like I was, about the reference to someone called Bluebeard, sit back because I'm about to tell you the best story you've ever heard. The character Bluebeard comes from a French folktale. Essentially, he's this super rich dude who no one wants to be around because he has a really ugly blue beard hanging out on his face. He's somehow managed to marry quite a few women, but no one knows what happened to them. So one day, he takes a fancy to his neighbor's daughters and asks to marry one of them - I guess it doesn't matter which. When he takes the youngest of the sisters to his castle, he has to leave suddenly on dastardly business or something. He gives her all the keys to the chateau and tells her to use them freely and to go wherever she pleases. However, he gives her one other key that he says she can never use - THEN WHY GIVE IT TO HER? Obviously, she ignores that and the second he leaves, she's opening the forbidden door. The room it leads to is covered in blood and all of the guy's former wives are hanging on hooks. She tells her sister and she comes to the castle to rescue her but her husband comes home early and discovers what she's done. Before he murders her, she asks for 15 minutes to pray. She locks herself and her sister in a tower room and her brothers show up and kill Bluebeard. She inherits his fortune, gives some to her family, and uses the rest to marry a super rich, presumably nice guy. -- the thing to take from this is that Ana seems to be convinced that Christian is going to flat-out murder her, and yet she's still in his kitchen making him breakfast.
As stated above, Ana rummages around Christian's kitchen and decides to cook breakfast. She has music blasting in her ears, and is dancing around the stove as she makes pancakes.
"I need somewhere to keep the pancakes warm, and I start on the bacon. Amy Studt is singing in my ear about misfits. This song used to mean so much to me; that's because I'm a misfit. I have never fitted in (cringe) anywhere and now . . . I have an indecent proposal to consider from King Misfit himself."
Eventually Christian joins her and catches her off-guard. She can barely keep her knees from giving way below her as he sits at the bar. She asks where the placemats are and he tells her that she should just keep cooking and he gets up to get them.
"'I'll do that. You cook. Would you like me to put some music on so you can continue your . . . er . . . dancing?'
I stare down at my fingers, knowing that I'm turning puce.
'Please, don't stop on my account. It's very entertaining.' His tone is of wry amusement.
I purse my lips. Entertaining, eh? My subconscious has doubled over in laughter at me. I turn and continue to whisk the eggs, probably beating them a little harder than necessary. In moment, he's beside me. He gently pulls my pigtail.
'I love these,' he whispers. 'They won't protect you.' Hmm, Bluebeard . . . " -- This didn't make sense when it was from Christian's perspective, and Ana's perspective doesn't offer anything more in the way of information except that we're still considering that Christian could be a serial killer but we're also still making him breakfast.
They eat, and Christian tells Ana that he'd like to continue her "basic training," but since she's sore, he decides that they should focus on oral skills. They talk a little bit about the non-disclosure agreement because Ana has questions about "the mechanics" of sex and would like to speak to Kate about them. Christian insists she doesn't because Kate is sleeping with his brother. He asks her how last night was for her and she says "good," which feels like an understatement.
"'Me, too,' he murmurs. 'I've never had vanilla sex before. There's a lot to be said for it. But then, maybe it's because it's with you.' He runs his thumb across my lower lip.
I inhale sharply. Vanilla sex?
'Come, let's have a bath.' He leans down and kisses me.
My heart leaps and desire pools way down low . . . way down there." -- jfc, Ana.
So, they get into the bath and Christian begins washing her. I don't know if I'll ever think that's a sexy thing to do to someone, but it works for Ana.
"He doesn't linger long and glides his hands down to my stomach and belly (are these different parts of your body????). My breathing increases and my heart is racing. His growing erection presses against my behind. It's such a turn-on know that it's my body making him feel this way. Ha . . . not your mind, my subconscious sneers. I shake off the unwelcome thought." -- Ana. Or, I guess, Ana's subconscious. Your mind will make him love you, but not fuck you. Brains do not create boners. That's just the way it is.
Obviously, things progress in the bathtub. We all remember the "oral skills" bit of this from Christian's perspective, though you lucky people didn't actually have to read the entire scene. I'm not sure from which perspective it's more uncomfortable, but Ana provides a lot of strange commentary.
"I pull him deeper into my mouth so I can feel him at the back of my throat and then to the front again. My tongue swirls around the end. He's my very own Christian Grey-flavored popsicle." -- I'm just gonna say it. Yuck.
"'Have you done that before?'
'No.' And I can't help the small tinge of pride in my denial.
'Good,' he says complacently and, I think, relieved. 'Yet another first, Miss Steele.' He looks appraisingly at me. 'Well, you get an A in oral skills. Come, let's go to bed, I owe you an orgasm.'
Orgasm! Another one!" -- careful, Ana. you're only allotted a certain amount of orgasms in your whole life. don't use them all this weekend.
They leave the bathroom and Christian takes her to his room. He ties her wrists together with a gray tie (such creativity. amazing.), and tells her not to move her hands. As you can probably infer from context, more sex happens for the rest of the chapter, and Ana is still awkward about it.
"This time he doesn't stop at my knee, he continues up the inside of my thigh, pushing my thighs apart as he does. And I know what he's going to do, and part of me whats to push him off because I'm mortified and embarrassed. He's going to kiss me there!" -- oh nooooo! not THERE!
"I pull my tied hands over his neck and hold him the best I can. I know in that moment I would do anything for this man. I am his. The wonder that he's introduced me to, it's beyond anything I could have imagined. And he wants to take it further, so much further, to a place I can't, in my innocence, even imagine. Oh . . . what to do?" -- You just said you'd do anything for him. I feel like "what should I do?" is a question you should asked before making that decision.
Lying bed, Christian and Ana suddenly hear voices outside the bedroom.
"'What do you mean he's not alone?'
'He has someone with him.'
'Oh . . .' Even I hear the disbelief in her voice.
Christian blinks rapidly, staring down at me, wide-eyed with humored horror.
'Shit! It's my mother.'"
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