Well, here we are again. Page 216 of only 559. When we left Christian and Ana, she had just left their "contract" negotiations without allowing Christian to seduce her. The nerve. After emailing her a few times with no response, Christian finally falls asleep.
Chapter 11 opens with one of Christian's dreams. I'm pretty sure he's supposed to be 4 or 5 in the dream, but honestly, who can tell?
"When is Mommy coming home?
Sometimes she comes home with him. I hate him. I hide when he comes. My favorite place is in my Mommy's closet. It smells of Mommy. It smells of Mommy when she's happy.
When is Mommy coming home?
My bed is cold. And I am hungry. I have my blankie and my cars but not my mommy. When is Mommy coming home?
I wake with a start.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."
Having still not heard from Ana, his anxiety grows even though he'll be seeing her in a matter of hours at her graduation ceremony. As he's sitting and pouting, he gets an email from his sister, Mia. This causes more pouting, and the fact that Mia calls Ana his girlfriend causes, you guessed it, even more pouting.
At 10am, he still hasn't heard from Ana. It's not like she has a huge milestone to prepare for today or anything. I mean, honestly. Did any of you think she'd make it to graduation? So excuse, her Christian, if she can't be bothered to deal with your neediness today.
Once on stage, Christian scans the auditorium for Ana.
"I find her huddled in the second row. She's alive. I feel foolish for expending so much anxiety and energy on her whereabouts last night and this morning. Her brilliant blue eyes are wide as they lock with mine, and she shifts in her seat, a slow flush coloring her cheeks.
Yes. I've found you. And you haven't replied to my messages."
"She's avoiding me and I'm pissed. Really pissed. Closing my eyes, I imagine dripping hot wax onto her breasts and her squirming beneath me. This has a radical effect on my body."
Christian gives his commencement speech, which is less about the graduates themselves, and more a social commentary on global warming, and I'm reminded of a certain treehugging character from a particularly terrible movie.
If you haven't seen Birdemic, go watch it.
After the ceremony, Christian finds Ana and proceeds to act, again, like a petulant 12-year-old.
"'Why haven't you e-mailed me? Or texted me back?' I demand.
She blinks a couple of times, consternation writ large on her face. 'I haven't looked at my computer today, or my phone.' She seems genuinely bewildered by my outburst. (she's been fucking busy, Christian. calm the fuck down.)
...
I close my eyes. All this time I thought she didn't want to talk to me. 'I've been worried about you.'"
They argue for a while about her car, even though it's perfectly safe and fine and Christian needs to just get the fuck over himself, until Ana finally excuses herself to go spend some time with her family. Christian suggests meeting her step dad, and then has weird thoughts when she responds.
"'Your stepfather? I'd like to meet him.'
Her uncertainty magnifies. 'I'm not sure that's a good idea,' she says darkly, as I unlock the door.
What? Why? Is this because she now knows I was dirt-poor as a kid? Or because she knows how I like to fuck? That I'm a freak?
'Are you ashamed of me?'
'No!' she exclaims, and she rolls her eyes in frustration. 'Introduce you to my dad as what?' She raises her hand in exasperation. "'This is the man who deflowered me and wants us to start a BDSM relationship?'"
You can't just tell your dad he's your boyfriend? Or your friend? Or some dude you just ran into? Or the man you interviewed for the newspaper? OR THE PERSON WHO JUST GAVE THE COMMENCEMENT ADDRESS? There are SO MANY OTHER OPTIONS. Actually, maybe if you just told him that he was emotionally manipulating you into a relationship, your stepdad could just shoot him and this book would be over right now.
We go through a few pages of platitudes between Christian and Ana's stepfather, and it's incredibly boring and forced and painful. Christian is still trying to convince Ana to agree to the relationship with him, and frankly, it's getting irritating at this point. But finally, either truly wanting to or just having been worn down by his constant bitching, Ana agrees to this arrangement.
"Please. Try it my way.
Her gaze is intense as she searches my face, looking for clues. And for a moment I'm lost in blue eyes that see everything. (Ana has 20/20 vision. Good for her.)
'Okay,' she whispers.
'What?' Every hair on my body stands to attention. (ew.)
'Okay. I'll try.'
'You're agreeing?' I don't believe it.
'Subject to the soft limits, yes. I'll try.'"
Christian leaves the graduation, and in the car, he ponders on whether or not he can do more. Ana wants an actual relationship, but Christian can't do that. But Christian wants Ana. So maybe he can try? He decides to think it over in the gym.
He emails Ana, telling her that he's willing to discuss her soft limits at any time and that she looked beautiful at the graduation. Then he ponders a little bit about how she didn't have her phone and how that caused him an incredible amount of stress. What could he do to amend the situation?
"Taylor
Please source a new BlackBerry for Anastasia Steele with her e-mail preinstalled. Andrea can get the account details from Barney and get them to you.
Please deliver it tomorrow either to her home or to Clayton's." -- Ah, yes. Just give her more things, even though she's expressed acute discomfort at being given this shit.
Christian gets a call from his mother, telling him that he and Ana are invited to dinner and Christian is upset about it. Surprise. As he's contemplating how to get out of Ana meeting his family, he receives an email.
"'I can come over this evening to discuss if you'd like.
Ana'
No, no baby. Not in that car. And my plans fall into place.
'I'll come to you. I meant it when I said I wasn't happy about you driving that car.
I'll be with you shortly.'"
You know. I'm just. I am so irritated about this 'no you cannot drive that car' bullshit. She's obviously survived just fine thus far. The problem Christian has with the car is not that it's old, it's that Jose is the one who helps Ana with its upkeep. We've established a thousand times already that there is nothing about Jose that would interfere with whatever depraved shit Christian has in store for Ana, so fucking give it up already.
Christian decides to deliver Ana's new car to her personally - because there's no way that could go wrong, right? He gets to her apartment and finds a wrapped up package with a note attached.
"There's a brown parcel on the table with the handwritten note attached.
'I agree to the conditions, Angel; because you know
best what my punishment ought to be; only - only -
don't make it more than I can bear!'
'Do you want saucers as well?' she calls.
'Teacups will be fine, Anastasia,' I respond, distracted. She's wrapped up the books - the first editions I sent her. She's giving them back to me. She doesn't want them. This is why she's nervous.
How the hell will she react to the car?"
POORLY, CHRISTIAN. SHE WILL REACT POORLY. WHICH YOU SHOULD KNOW, BECAUSE 23 FUCKING PAGES AGO SHE SAID 'YOU ARE NOT BUYING ME A CAR.'
"'I bought these for you.' It's a small white lie - as I've replaced them. 'I'll go easier on you if you accept them.' I keep my voice calm and quiet, masking my disappointment.
'Christian, I can't accept them, they're just too much.'
Here we go, another battle of wills.
Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose." -- really? really? this translates to "The more things change, the more they stay the same." Which is fine, except that I refuse to believe that EL James stuck it in here for any other reason than to be like 'Hey everyone look I don't ONLY use Wikipedia, sometimes I use Google Translate too!'
So, since Christian can't have Ana defying him on anything else tonight, he makes the calculated decision to get her drunk.
"'Some more?' I nod toward the bottle on the table.
'Please.'
I fetch the champagne and refill her cup. She regards me suspiciously. She knows I'm playing her with alcohol.
'This place looks pretty bare. Are you ready for the move?' I ask, to distract her." -- just stop.
He asks her what she's going to do for work when she gets to Seattle, and when she tells him she has some interviews for a few publishing houses, he angrily demands to know when she was going to tell him. He presses her for the names of the companies and she doesn't want to tell him.
"'Why don't you want me to know?'
'Undue influence,' she says.
What does that mean? I frown.
'Oh, now you're being obtuse,' she says, her eyes twinkling with mirth.
'Obtuse?' I laugh. 'Me? God, you're challenging. Drink up, let's talk about these limits.'
Her eyelashes flutter and she takes a shaky breath, then drains her cup."
IT'S BAAAAAAAAAACK
And here we are at the soft limits. The list is as follows:
- Masturbation
- Cunnilingus
- Fellatio
- Swallowing Semen
- Vaginal intercourse
- Vaginal fisting
- Anal intercourse
- Anal fisting
Ana has already said 'hell no' to fisting of any kind, and Christian asks if there's anything else she objects to.
"She swallows. 'Anal intercourse doesn't exactly float my boat.'
'I'll agree to the fisting, but I'd really like to claim your ass, Anastasia.'
She inhales sharply, gazing at me.
'But we'll wait for that. Besides, it's not something we can dive into.' I can't help my smirk. 'Your ass will need training.'"
"'So, swallowing semen okay?' I ask, trying to bring her back to the now. She nods and finishes her champagne.
'More?' I ask.
Steady, Grey, you just want her tipsy, not drunk."
Once again, they have what is apparently mindblowing sex (regardless of the still uncomfortable dialogue), and as they're cuddling after, Ana accidentally touches Christian's chest, which is a big no-no.
"'Don't,' I plead, and kiss her lips as I dampen down my fear.
'Why don't you like to be touched?'
'Because I'm fifty shades of fucked up, Anastasia.'" -- FINALLY AFTER 253 PAGES WE HAVE INCLUDED THE TITLE OF THE SERIES INTO THE DIALOGUE HALLELUJAH
Ana asks Christian to stay, even though we all know that's not going to happen. He says he'd like to try a scene with her, but not until she signs the contract, so he knows she's ready. Ana makes the observation that she could just drag out their current relationship by not signing, and Christian gets creepy again.
"'Well, I suppose you could, but I may crack under the strain.'
'Crack? How?' she queries, her eyes alive with curiosity.
'Could get really ugly,' I tease, narrowing my eyes.
'Ugly, how?' Her grin matches mine.
'Oh, you know, explosions, car chases, kidnapping, incarceration.'
'You'd kidnap me?'
'Oh yes.'
'Hold me against my will?'
'Oh yes.' Now, that's an interesting idea. 'And then we're talking TPE twenty-four-seven.' -- THAT IS NOT AN INTERESTING IDEA THAT IS A CRIME
He leaves, even though we all know she didn't want him to, and after he gets back to his hotel, an email exchange takes place. He tells her she's exquisite, she tells him that she's "just some girl he fucks occasionally," he tells her not to talk about herself that way and that Taylor will dispose of her car, she tells him that she can do it and that she isn't sure she likes him. I hate this book.
I haven't posted in a while and this post in particular took an extremely long time to write. So naturally, I'm going to try to post again tonight. We'll see though.
Chapter 11 "baby" count: 9
Total "baby" count: 54
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