I hope you're all ready for Man Angst of Supernatural proportions. (see what I did there?)
"I can't sleep. It's after two and I've been staring at the ceiling for an hour. Tonight it's not my sleeping nightmares that are keeping me awake. It's a waking one.
Leila Williams.
The smoke detector on my ceiling is winking at me, its flashing green light mocking me." -- that's called 'blinking', Christian.
Moving on, Christian ponders the reasons one might become depressed or suicidal, without actually having spoken with said person. And then he makes everything about him. Cue shock. Cue awe.
"Why was Leila suicidal? What possessed her? Her desperate unhappiness resonates with a younger me. I'm trying to quash my memories, but the anger and desolation of my solitary teen years resurfaces and it won't go away.
. . . . .
Rising from my bed, I push these disquieting thoughts to the back of my mind. I need the piano.
I need Ana.
If she'd signed the contract and everything had gone according to plan, she would be with me, upstairs, asleep. I could wake her, and lose myself in her . . . or, under our new arrangement, she would be beside me, and I could fuck her and then watch her sleep.
What would she make of Leila?"
-- also, ew.
Christian sits down at the piano, still contemplating how terrible it would be if Ana ever met Leila, when a much stranger thought occurs to him.
"Leila is servicing my cock with her mouth.
Her skilled mouth.
Her hands are tied behind her back.
Her hair braided.
She's on her knees.
Eyes cast down. Modest. Alluring.
Not seeing me.
And suddenly she's Ana.
Ana on her knees before me. Naked. Beautiful.
My cock in her mouth.
But Ana's eyes are on mine.
Her blazing blue eyes see everything.
See me. My soul.
She sees the darkness and the monster beneath.
Her eyes widen in horror and suddenly she disappears.
Shit! I wake with a start, and a painful erection that wanes as soon as I recall Ana's wounded look in my dream."
Christian checks his email and finds one from Ana, letting him know that she's on the plane waiting to take off and has once again been upgraded to first class. She asks about his "situation" and if it is resolved, which it is not.
"Anastasia,
The situation could be better. Have you taken off yet? If so, you should not be e-mailing. You are putting yourself at risk, in direct contravention of the rule regarding your personal safety. I meant what I said about punishments.
Christian Grey." -- Dear Christian: on-board WiFi was first used on planes in 2003. It is 2011. I am quite certain that as Ana is likely flying a major airline and probably on a Boeing plane, she also has in-flight WiFi. Stop being a melodramatic doorknob and embrace technology.
As it turns out, Ana hasn't even taken off yet. Her flight has been delayed and Christian is being a jackass for no good reason. That could be the overall title for the series. Like, you know how George R. R. Martin has "A Song of Ice and Fire." ELJ could have "Christian is a Jackass for No Good Reason: the Trilogy."
Christian receives a call from that Welch dude who got the background check on Ana in chapter 2, and he tells him that he's spoken to Leila's husband. I don't actually think they're married anymore but I don't really remember. And Christian thinks they're still married so whatever. He's her husband. Anyyyyyway. "'He says his wife is away visiting her parents,' Welch reports." While on the phone with Welch, Christian feels eyes on him. Obviously it's Ana, having magically shown up at his house.
"She's all eyes and legs . . . especially legs. I imagine them wrapped around my waist.
Desire, raw and real, fires my blood as I stare."
Obviously we're beginning a sex scene. Instead of describing to you what's happening (because whoooo really wants that?), I'm just going to share the most bizarre moments.
"I wrap my arms around her, tugging at her ponytail, lifting her eager lips to mine. She tastes of heaven and home and fall and Ana." -- I'd be really concerned if she tasted like anyone else.
"My blood is thick with desire, my erection painful." -- you're supposed to call someone when that happens, right?
"She moans and I feel her quicken around me..." -- I've had sex before and I don't know what this means.
"I come deep and hard inside her, growling out a garbled version of her name." -- her name is Ana. there's really only so much you can do to distort that. "Arrrraanaaarraaaaa" or so I assume.
Annnnd we're done. Now for the post-coital talking.
"'I have a job.' She sounds reticent.
Why? Did she think I'd be angry? Of course she's found a job. Pride swells in my chest. 'Congratulations, Miss Steele. Now will you tell me where?' I ask with a smile.
'You don't know?'
'Why would I know?'
'With your stalking capabilities, I thought you might have - ' She stops to study my face.
'Anastasia, I wouldn't dream of interfering in your career. Unless you ask me to, of course.'" -- Are you sure, Christian? Are you reaaaaaallly sure? You're telling me that you're not going to PURCHASE THE COMPANY SO YOU CAN KEEP A CLOSER EYE ON HER? THAT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU'RE GOING TO DO? ARE YOU FUCKING SURE?
"'So you have no idea which company?'
'No. I know there are four publishing companies in Seattle - so I am assuming it's one of them.'
'SIP,' she announces.
'Oh, the small one, good. Well done.' It's the company that Ros identified as ripe for takeover. This will be easy." -- THERE IT FUCKING IS
They decide to actually shower - no doubt I'm in for more awkward sex - and Ana once again asks if he'll ever let her touch him.
"Her voice is a gentle entreaty, but it doesn't stop the darkness that's swirling suddenly from nowhere and tightening around my throat.
No.
I will it away, cupping and concentrating on Ana's ass, her fucking glorious behind. My body responds on a primal level - at war with the darkness." -- jesus fucking christ.
They have more sex, and then go out to eat dinner, when Christian proposes, you guessed it, EVEN MORE SEX.
"'I want you ready and waiting in my playroom in fifteen minutes.' I stand up, watching her closely to gauge her reaction. She takes a quick sip of her wine, her pupils widening.
. . . . .
Remarkably, she says nothing, and I head off to my study to send a quick e-mail to Ros telling her I want to start the process to acquire SIP as soon as possible."
Up in the playroom, Christian reminds Ana of her safe words, something he has never done before. He explains that during this scene, she will be tied up and blindfolded, and will be listening to extremely loud music so she'll be unable to hear or see him. Maybe I'm crazy, but there's no way I'd trust him that much. He chooses a choral piece for her to listen to, which he can also hear. I can only assume that it's some kind of Gregorian chant. After their respective explosive orgasms, we reflect.
"The music definitely contributed to what was almost a religious experience. I frown, attempting but failing to get a handle on my feelings."
Praise be! Praise be! Let it from this day be known that Christian Grey has discovered the Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption. And it was good.
Lying in bed, engaging in more post-coital discussion (we've had a lot of it this chapter), Ana asks if Christian will finally tell her what she said in her sleep. She said she'd never leave him, in case you've forgotten because it's fucking trivial as hell but WE'RE STILL FUCKING TALKING ABOUT IT.
"'You said lots of things, Anastasia. You talked about cages and strawberries. That you wanted more, and that you missed me.'
'Is that all?' She sounds relieved.
Why would she be relieved?
I stretch out beside her so I can see her face.
'What did you think you'd said?'
She opens her eyes for a brief moment, and shuts them again quickly.
'That I thought you were ugly, conceited, and that you were hopeless in bed.' One blue eye peeks open and watches me warily."
Somehow this conversation ends with them dissolving into laughter, an action of which I previously thought Christian incapable.
"'I'm so tired,' she mumbles once she's in my bed.
'Sleep now,' I whisper, and wrap her in my arms. I close my eyes, fighting the disquieting sensation that surges and fills my chest once more. It's like homesickness and a homecoming rolled into one . . . and it's terrifying."
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