When we left Christian, he was angrily banging away on his piano. Chapter 16 opens with yet another Christian Grey nightmare, It's about his mother, again, of whom he apparently only has memories when it's convenient. There's also a dude in this dream, who's only been mentioned once as "him" - ominous, I know. I'm assuming that this man was his mom's boyfriend or dealer or both and that we're gonna go ahead and also blame him for the way Christian turned out, despite being 4 when his mom died and not remembering his childhood.
Waking up, Christian checks his phone. There's a text from Ana stating that she has arrived safely in Savannah, and much to Christian's surprise, she's also sent an email. The subject of said email? "Do you like to scare me?" This should be good.
It begins with her explaining that she doesn't like that he throws money at her because it feels like he's paying her for sex. She admits that she included the bit about Jean-Paul giving her a massage to rile him up, and purposely did not tell Christian that Jean-Paul was gay.
"But as usual you overreact. You can't write things like that to me - bound and gagged in a crate. (Were you serious or was it a joke?) That scares me . . . you scare me . . . I am completely caught up in your spell, considering a lifestyle with you that I didn't even know existed until last week, and then you write something like that and I want to run screaming into the hills. I won't, of course, because I'd miss you. Really miss you. I want us to work, but I am terrified of the depth of feeling I have for you and the dark path you're leading me down. What you are offering is erotic and sexy, and I'm curious, but I'm also scared you'll hurt me - physically and emotionally."
The email is much longer, but I felt like this was the most important part. Having read the email, Christian has a few thoughts.
"Ana's given me a great deal to process.
Paying her for sex?
Like a whore.
I've never thought of her that way. Just the idea makes me mad. Really fucking mad. I sprint once more around the park, my anger spurring me on. Why does she do this to herself? I'm rich, so what? She just needs to get used to that.
At least she doesn't want me for my money.
But does she want me at all?
She says I dazzle her. But boy, has she got that the wrong way around. She dazzles me in a way that I've never experienced, yet she's flown across the country to get away from me.
How's that supposed to make me feel?"
I used to be friends with a guy who pulled this kind of shit all the time. He would do or say something that upset me and when I expressed that I was upset, he turned it around, made it about him, and I ended up being the one apologizing. This is one of the worst things you can do to a person emotionally. If you are a person who does this crap, take a good look in the mirror and then punch yourself in the face because you're total shit and no person should ever be subjected to someone they care about twisting their words and making their pain about themselves.
"I take a slower jog around the park to think about what disturbs me most about her e-mail. It isn't her fear, it's that she's terrified of the depth of feeling she has for me.
What does that mean?
That unfamiliar feeling surfaces in my chest as my lungs burn for air. It scares me. Scares me so much that I push myself harder, so that all I feel is the pain of exertion in my legs and in my chest and the cold sweat that trickles down my back." -- again, Christian. THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU. And furthermore - the thing that bothers you the most is not that she's afraid of you? Really? BECAUSE THAT SHOULD BE THE FUCKING THING THAT BOTHERS YOU THE FUCKING MOST.
Once back at his apartment/office/dungeon, Christian fires off a 3-page-long response to Ana. I'll just put the highlights here.
"I am annoyed that as soon as you put some distance between us, you communicate openly and honestly with me. Why can't do that when we're together?" -- because when you're together, she's within beating distance. See previous email: "You scare me."
"What I think you fail to realize is that in Dom/sub relationships it is the sub who has all the power." -- she didn't fail to realize it, you jackass, she didn't even know this kind of lifestyle existed two weeks ago and yOU'VE BEEN REALLY GOOD AT TELLING HER NOTHING
"I understand your trepidation. I did try to stay away from you." -- NO YOU FUCKING DID NOT YOU FLEW YOUR ASS DOWN TO PORTLAND AND SAT IN THE PARKING LOT OF HER WORK AND THEN WAITED INSIDE UNTIL YOU SAW HER AND YOU TRACKED HER PHONE AND THEN WHEN YOU THOUGHT SHE WASNT INTO YOU YOU FUCKING SHOWED UP AT HER MOTHERFUCKING APARTMENT HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SAY YOU TRIED TO STAY AWAY FROM HER
"I will endeavor to keep an open mind, and I shall try to give you the space you need and stay away from you while you are in Georgia." -- NO BECAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO FUCKING FLY TO GEORGIA OHMYGOD DID EL JAMES EVEN READ HER OWN FUCKING BOOK????????
He sends the Email of Lies and then gets on the phone for a business call. Or what sounds like a business call. But is really just a way for him to fucking GO TO GEORGIA.
"A few moments later I have Bill on the line.
'Mr. Grey.'
'Did your people look at Georgia as an option to site the tech plant? Savannah in particular?'
'I believe we did, sir. But I'll need to check.'
......
Bill has come back to me with a potential site near Savannah for our plant."
goddammit.
From here, we have a lengthy exchange of emails that add nothing to the story but more disgust and disappointment. BUT HERE IS SOME OF IT ANYWAYYYYY.
"Subject: Verbose?
Sir, you are quite the loquacious writer. I have to go to dinner at Bob's golf club, and just so you know, I am rolling my eyes at the thought. But you and your twitchy palm are a long way from me so my behind is safe, for now." -- I thought he could only smack you around if you rolled your eyes at him?
"Subject: Your Behind
Dear Miss Steele,
I am distracted by the title of this e-mail. Needless to say it is safe - for now." -- realllyyyyyyy?? the subject of an email is distracting you? go read a book or pet a dog, Christian, jfc.
Ana requests that he stop emailing her so she can get ready, because I guess she's incapable of making him wait for anything. He responds again, because he is incapable of listening to women. And then email sex begins to happen.
C: "Dear Miss Steele,
You do it all the time in print. Can I zip up your dress?"
A: "I would rather you unzipped it."
"Her words travel directly to my dick, passing 'Go' on the way." -- what does this even mean?
Obviously, Christian responds "SO WOULD I." The email subjects change a little bit at this point.
"NC-17"
"Panting"
"Groaning"
"Moaning"
"Plagiarism" -- this exists because Ana cut the email sex short and said "Gotta go. Laters, baby.", which Christian feels is stealing his line.
More email happens and we learn that the only reason Ana doesn't eat around Christian is because he literally destroys her appetite.
"'Of course I eat . . . It's only the uncertainty I feel around you that puts me off food.'" -- I'm not sure what it is, but something is telling me this isn't a healthy relationship.
Christian is going to dinner with Elena, or as Ana calls her, Mrs. Robinson. Christian was Elena's submissive for a time, and now Elena finds submissives for him. Which is a strange, strange, relationship to have with someone. But who am I to judge?
They're talking about Ana, and how she's gone 3000 miles away to think about their arrangement.
"'I bet you're worrying about what she's doing in Georgia, what she's thinking. I know how you are.'
'Yes. I want her to make the right decision.'" -- ugh.
Elena suggests that Christian fly to Georgia to see her, which we all know he was already considering. He arrives back home and, after reading Ana's latest email, makes his decision.
"She said she's missed me . . . the jet's available.
Back home I read her last e-mail.
'I hope you and your friend had a very pleasant dinner.
Ana
P.S. Was it Mrs. Robinson?'
Shit.
This is the perfect excuse. This is going to need an answer in person.
I buzz Taylor and tell him I'm going to need Stephan and the Gulfstream in the morning.
'Very good, Mr. Grey. Where are you going?'
'We're going to Savannah.'"
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