Honestly, these chapters are getting a little long. This book was much easier to handle when the chapters consisted of only 10 pages.
When we ended last time, our protagonists had just fallen asleep after an evening of incredible sex, despite the uncomfortable dialogue.
It's morning, and Christian has jolted awake with a feeling of deep foreboding.
"I wake with a start and a pervading sense of guilt, as if I've committed a terrible sin.
Is it because I've fucked Anastasia Steele? Virgin?"
Yeah, Christian. That's totally it.
"Ana sleeps the sound sleep of an innocent. Well, not so innocent now. My body stirs as I watch her.
I could wake her.
Fuck her again.
There are definitely some advantages to having her in my bed.
Grey. Stop this nonsense.
Fucking her was merely a means to an end and a pleasant distraction."
"The room is too full of Ana: her scent, the sound of her soft breathing, and the memory of my first vanilla fuck.
...
Miss Steele is a carnal creature.
She will be a joy to train.
My cock twitches in agreement."
Okay, I swear this is going to have some actual commentary, but there are really just some things you guys need to experience for yourselves. It's things like this that make me wonder how people who loved the original series feel about it now that we're seeing things from this incredibly warped and predatory perspective. That, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who wasn't expecting sentient genitalia.
Anyway, eventually, after some serious brooding and some even more serious pretentious banter ("'That was a beautiful piece. Bach?' 'Transcription by Bach, but it's originally an oboe concerto by Alessandro Marcello.'" -- I'm sorry, but you will never convince me that Miss Anastasia Steele has such a skilled ear that she can hear a composer's influence in a TRANSCRIPTION. I call bullshit.), Christian falls asleep and wakes up to find he's slept late and Ana is no longer in his bed. He follows his nose to the kitchen. No, I'm not kidding.
Good girl."
"She has to be one of the most uncoordinated females I've ever seen. It's amusing, charming, and strangely arousing at the same time." -- at last, I understand how to attract a man.
"Sidling up to her, I gently tug one of her braids. 'I love these. They won't protect you.'" -- literally what the fuck does this mean. why does she need protecting? why on earth would hair ever be considered a protective material?
Ana serves breakfast and tells Christian she needs to be back home that evening. He's upset, but can't force her to stay because she hasn't signed his ever-elusive contract (and after she signs it he can apparently just hold her hostage, but hey. do you.). They argue briefly about food - she isn't hungry and he has an insatiable desire to make women do things they don't want to do - and then he has a revelation.
"As I watch her place a forkful of eggs in her mouth, I relax. She's quite challenging in her own way. And it's unique. I've never dealt with this. Yes. That's it. She's a novelty. That's the fascination... isn't it?" -- oh good, I thought for a second he was starting to think of her as an actual human being with thoughts and emotions. it's good to be reminded that she's neither important nor complex, but simply a novelty.
By the way:
Novelty Item: an object which is specifically designed to serve no practical purpose.
I'm glad we cleared that up.
Christian decides that the two of them should take a bath - to test Ana's oral skills. Again, I'm not kidding.
"'Yes. Not my usual style. After I've done this, we'll take a bath.'
And I can test her oral skills." -- see?
In the bathroom, Ana has her arms wrapped around herself.
"She's shy.
It's arousing.
And to think she's never bathed with a man.
I can claim another first." -- taking her bath virginity is almost as magical as taking her sexual virginity. and just as imaginary.
Time for some more awkward dirty talk. Because no one gets tired of that, right?
"Lifting my hips, I grab my cock. 'I want you to become well acquainted, on first-name terms, if you will, with my favorite and most cherished part of my body. I'm very attached to this.'" -- I see what you did there. Punny.
"Oh. Baby. That. Feels. Good." -- do people really talk like this?
"Yet another first, Miss Steele. Well, you get an A in oral skills. Come, let's go to bed. I owe you an orgasm." -- Christian's obsession with firsts is getting a little gross. And by a little, I obviously mean a lot. A lot gross.
Getting out of the bath, Christian naturally has only the most romantic things to say to her.
"Staring down into bemused eyes, I implore her. 'Say yes.'
'To what?' she whispers.
'Yes to our arrangement. To being mine. Please, Ana.'" -- literally you have not given her the contract yet she doesn't know what's in it, what you want her to do, what the terms of ANYTHING are she cannot consent right now why is this so difficult for you to understand.
By the way, she never answers his plea. Instead he just says "Trust me?" and proceeds to have his way with her. Page 127 and we do not have a contract.
Ana does trust him, as it turns out. And he's pleased. I think.
"Good. Beautiful. Girl." -- is she beautiful? or is her trust beautiful. also, are you calling her a good, beautiful girl, or are you just listing off adjectives that describe her like a toddler who can't construct full sentences?
We've had quite a few red flags at this point, but.
"Gently I tug at her braids. 'You look so young with these.' But they're not going to stop me."
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Also, it's worth mentioning that he comments on how young those braids make her look more than once this chapter - three times, if I counted right. It's always in conjunction with a sexual comment, and when she finally agrees to be his submissive, he requires that she wear her hair in braids any time they're in his playroom. Seeing as she's only 22, she doesn't have a lot of wiggle room for looking younger before it becomes pedophilia. People love Christian. They love him. Many people wish he were real. Constant questions of "Where's my Christian Grey?" If you're lucky, he's in jail.
Back to the book:
They're leaving Christian's house to get Ana back to Portland, and for the second time, Ana asks if she can ask Kate's advice about sex.
"'Talk to her if you must. Make sure she doesn't mention anything to Elliot -'
'Okay,' Ana says, and gives me a bright smile.
'The sooner I have your submission the better, and we can stop all this.'
'Stop all what?'
'You, defying me.'" -- ugh.
On the way back to Portland, Christian stops them at a restaurant. Ana, again, is not hungry, and Christian again, forces her to eat. The conversation is bland as can be. Ana has questions about the exact definition of 'vanilla sex' and why Christian has never had it until her. This is where we're all introduced to Elena, the friend of Christian's mother who seduced him and started him on this dark and twisted path (see? I can be melodramatic too). Talk shifts to the contract, which I'm assuming will happen sometime in the next 100 pages.
As Christian is dropping Ana off at her apartment, he reminds her to read the contract, and says they'll get together on Wednesday to discuss it.
"'Thank you for this weekend, Anastasia. It's been . . . the best.' She turns shining eyes to me. 'Wednesday?' I continue. 'I'll pick you up from work, from wherever?'
'Wednesday,' she says, and the hope in her voice is disconcerting.
Shit. It's not a date."
For constantly claiming "it's not a date," Christian has a funny way of showing it. Not even 2 whole pages ago, he launched into an 'I want you to love me' monologue and now he wants us to think he isn't interested in a relationship.
"Anastasia, you have to go with your gut. Do the research, read the contract. I'm happy to discuss any aspect. I'll be in Portland until Friday if you want to talk about it before then. Call me - maybe we can have dinner - say, Wednesday? I really want to make this work. In fact, I've never wanted anything as much as I want this."
Honestly, what is she supposed to think when he says this? He only comes out and explicitly says "I don't do romance" twice, and we've already passed both of those moments. Not once does he voice that that's still the way he feels, but somehow she's supposed to be able to read his italicized thoughts. Manipulation? No. Never.
Chapter 7 "baby" count: 9
Total "baby" count: 38
