THE TIME HAS COME
Ah, yes. The contract. That morally ambiguous, non-legally binding piece of paper that we've all been wondering about for 165 pages. It's finally arrived. Currently, Ana is unaware of its legal status (because Christian is a twat and didn't bother to tell her), so she's approaching it assuming she's actually about to sign her life over to Christian. Which is weird, and I don't know why a person would ever consider doing something like that, but it's not my life. YOLO, amirite?
This particular document would have been well served with a little "don't worry, I can't sue you for breaching the terms" talk before Christian sent Ana home with it. Because with phrasing like "The following are the terms of a binding contract..." and "Any breach shall render it void with immediate effect and each party agrees to be fully responsible to the other for the consequence of any breach," it's no wonder Ana thinks it's for real. She's still fine with it, which is a completely different monster, but we'll get to that later.
Obviously, because we're in Ana's head now, we're getting a more complete look at the "contract" and the problematic language contained therein.
"The Dominant may use the Submissive's body at any time during the Allotted Times or any agree additional times in any manner he deems fit, sexually or otherwise." -- otherwise?? what kind of otherwise?
"The Dominant may restrain, handcuff, or bind the Submissive at any time during the Allotted Times or any agreed additional times for any reason and for extended periods of time." -- uh?
"In cases of illness or injury the Dominant shall care for the Submissive, seeing to her health and safety, encouraging and, when necessary, ordering medical attention when it is judged necessary by the Dominant." -- I hate to be the one to bring this up, but the last I checked, this Dominant has no authority whatsoever to decide when medical attention is necessary????
"The Submissive shall accept without question any and all disciplinary actions deemed necessary by the Dominant and remember her status and role in regard to the Dominant at all times." -- noooooope
She goes through the rest of the contract, and is concerned. Mostly, she doesn't like that he effectively owns her, that she has to be available to him every weekend, that she has to do what she's told without question, that he can punish her, that she can't touch him or look him in the eye... you know, just like 99% of the contract. Before she tries to tackle the list of approved foods (which really, should be the easiest thing for her to handle), she decides to go to sleep. She's awoken the next day by Kate, because she has to sign for a package. It's a Macbook, from Christian, and the guy setting it up knows more about that particular machine than Ana knows about life in general.
"'It's got the latest OS and a full suite of programs, plus a one-point-five terabyte hard drive so you'll have plenty of room, thirty-two gigs of RAM - what are you planning to use it for?'
'Uh . . . e-mail.'
'E-mail!' he chokes, raising his eyebrows with a slightly sick look on his face.
'And maybe Internet research?' I shrug apologetically.
He sighs.
'Well, this has full wireless N, and I've set it up with your Me account details. This baby is all ready to go, practically anywhere on the planet.' He looks longingly at it.
'Me account?'
'Your new e-mail address.'
I have an e-mail address?" -- you just....... you literally JUST said you're going to use it for email??????? and now you're surprised you have an email address????????????? how did you think you were going to send emails????????????
The guy leaves and Ana logs into her email to discover a message from Christian. It surprises her for many reasons, not the least of which is that she just discovered email exists. All Christian says is that he hopes she slept well and that she needs to put this laptop to good use (eg: look up all the stuff in the contract you're confused about, like butt plugs). She responds that while she appreciates the gesture, she does not "want or need a computer indefinitely," which is an interesting thing for a newly graduated millennial in need of employment to say, but what the fuck ever.
"I am going to be late for work. Well, it is my last week - Mr. and Mrs. Clayton will probably cut me some slack. I race into the shower, unable to shake my face-splitting grin. He e-mailed me. I'm like a small, giddy child." -- I'll have whatever drugs she's on, thanks. Also, just because it's your last week does not mean you can be a shitty employee. Those people have supported you for like 4 years. Be respectful and go the fuck to work.
Jose meets her for lunch, because I guess we've forgiven the almost rapist. When she gets home that evening, there's an email from Christian waiting for her. All it says is that he hopes she had a good day. He could have sent her a text but this is a very weird 2011 where everyone emails instead. She responds, calling him "Sir," which again, is interesting considering she still has very basic questions about this non-contract. Finally, we get to the root of the discussion.
"Mr. Grey,
What would you suggest I put into a search engine?" -- Okay, first of all, I have graduated from college and my degree was just as useless and just as research-based as Ana's. She should absolutely know how to conduct research, even for something as apparently out of her depth as BDSM. But, like the kind soul he is, Christian offers a solution: Wikipedia.
"I type 'Submissive' into Wikipedia.
Half an hour later, I feel slightly queasy and frankly shocked to my core." -- I wouldn't be a quality blogger if I didn't do exactly what Ana is doing in the instances that I can. SO. I've just been to Wikipedia. And as Ana did, I typed "Submissive" into the search bar. Do you want to know what I found? Do you???
That's fucking right. Typing "Submissive into Wikipedia doesn't give you ANY uncomfortable or sickening information. IT DOESN'T EVEN TAKE YOU TO THE PAGE FOR 'SUBMISSIVE'. Instead, it redirects you to "Deference". And what happens when you click on the link to view the page for "Submissive"?
So tell me, ELJ. How the fuck could you not be bothered enough to check to make sure your suggestion to use fucking Wikipedia would actually work out? Everyone reading this bullshit you call literature knows you know how to you use it, because that's how you got all of your information on BDSM. And before anyone tries to defend her with "oh but maybe the site changed the search results after so many people tried to do the same search," please note that this book was published in 2011 and the Wikipedia page was last edited in 2010.
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