Bared to You: Chapters 7 and 8

Too upset and hurt over Gideon treating their first sexual encounter exactly the way he told her he would, Eva seems to leave her body during the charity event and remembers very little of it. At least that's what the first sentence of this chapter says, before we get 5 whole pages detailing an entire recount of the night. Get ready for some angst, bitches.

"I don't remember much of what happened after we arrived."

The second they get into the building, Eva manages to slip away when Gideon gets distracted by other wealthy people. She makes her way over to a table where her mother, Cary, and Stanton are, downing a glass of champagne on the way and quickly grabbing a second. Her mother compliments her on her dress, and Cary gets her yet another glass of champagne. It's not long until Gideon has found her. He's angry she disappeared and she's angry that he's still breathing. After excruciating pleasantries, he leads her away from the table. Dinner passed in what I assume was a blur, Eva just picking at her food and drinking her weight in wine.

Gideon stands to give a speech about child sexual abuse in North America, and closes to a loud applause. As soon as the clapping settles, Eva turns to leave and runs into Gideon's brother, Christopher Vidal. He asks her to dance, and she hesitates.
"I glance over to where Gideon was standing at the foot of the stairs that led to the stage. He was surrounded by people eager to talk to him, many of whom were women.
'You can see he'll be a while,' Christopher said, with a note of amusement.
'Yes.' I was about to look away when I recognized the woman standing next to Gideon - Magdalene Perez." -- I have read every page up to this point and I have no idea who this is or why she matters.

She and Christopher dance for a while, and she ends up having a nice time. When her dance with Christopher ends, Cary steps in to take his place. They discuss how much Cary loves Eva, and how he told Gideon that he'd hurt him if he ever hurt her.

"Gideon appeared beside us. 'I'm cutting in.'

It wasn't a request.

Cary stopped and looked at me. I nodded. He backed away with a bow, his gaze hot and fierce on Gideon's face." -- go away, Gideon. No one wants you here.

While they're dancing, Gideon tells Eva to stay away from his brother, which is a weird demand to make. The only explanation he gives is, 'because I said so,' which is the shittiest explanation ever. She counters, and tells him to stay away from Magdalene, and he's upset by this, declaring they're just friends. We establish he's not slept with her yet and that Gideon apparently doesn't want to anyway. He tells her he needs to go, but it seems like she's having a great time and he doesn't want to drag her away. She's confused, because she's having a terrible time, and this makes her even more angry.

"Enjoying myself? Was he kidding or clueless? Or worse. Maybe he'd written me off so completely that he wasn't paying attention to me at all. 

I pushed myself away from him, needing the distance. His scent was messing with my head. 'I'll be fine. Forget about me.'" -- how does his scent mess with your head? I like a good cologne as much as the next girl, but the only scent that has ever been pleasurable enough to actually distract me is pizza.

Tell me that's not the most sensual thing you've seen all day.

Thankfully, Cary comes to the rescue like the best friend we all need.

"'Eva.' He reached for me and I stepped back quickly.

An arm came around my back and Cary spoke. 'I've got her, Cross.'

'Don't get in my way, Taylor,' Gideon warned.

Cary snorted. 'I get the impression you're doing a smokin' job of that all by yourself.'

I swallowed past the lump in my throat. 'You gave a wonderful speech, Gideon. It was the highlight of my night.'" -- considering the other part of her night included really good limo sex, I'm am SO HERE for this kind of insult. A+, my dear. Make him cry.

Gideon has to leave and tells Eva that he'll call her. Cary offers to take Eva home, but she wants to be alone, so Cary has Stanton's limo brought to the front while she goes to the bathroom. When she walks out of the stall, she comes face to face with Magdalene for a really bizarre conversation.

"'Oh, dear,' she murmured, the moment the attendant stepped out of earshot. She made a tsking noise that scraped over my nerves like nails on a chalkboard. 'You've fucked him already.'

'And you haven't.' 

That seemed to surprise her. 'You're right, I haven't. You know why?'

I pulled a five-spot out of my clutch and dropped it in the silver tip tray. 'Because he doesn't want to.'

'And I don't want to either, because he can't commit. He's young, gorgeous, rich, and he's enjoying it.'

'Yes.' I nodded. 'He certainly did.'

Her gaze narrowed, her pleasant expression slipping slightly. 'He doesn't respect the women he fucks. The minute he shoved his dick in you, you were done. Just like all the others. But I'm still here, because I'm the one he wants to keep around for the long haul.'

I maintained my cool even though the blow had been a perfect hit right where the most damage could be done. 'That's pathetic.'

I walked out and didn't stop until I reached Stanton's limousine. Squeezing Cary's hand as I got in, I managed to wait until the car pulled away from the curb to start crying." -- what even is this.

The next morning, Eva wakes up to find Cary lounging on the couch and a large arrangement of roses on the counter. They've been delivered on a Sunday, which is apparently expensive - I don't know, I've never ordered roses - and there's a small plastic card attached:

I'M STILL THINKING ABOUT YOU.

GIDEON

Eva contemplates his handwriting, which is bold and masculine and sexy. Must be the way he writes with the caps lock on permanently. Cary comments that she doesn't seem impressed by the flowers and she says he's no good for her.

"'He's bad news for me. He's like one giant trigger. I just need to stay away from him.' Cary had been through therapy with me, and he knew the drill. He didn't look at me funny when I broke things down into therapeutic jargon, and he didn't have any trouble shooting it back to me the same way." -- there is literally zero therapeutic jargon here? I'm so confused. And also, I'm seriously irritated that it appears this series will centre around a woman recovering from sexual assault constantly putting her well-being at risk for some dude's junk. Value yourself, girl. You're worth more than that.

Cary tells her the phone's been ringing all morning so he turned the volume off. They decide to leave it off all day, and Eva fills Cary in on the previous night's disaster. She begins with the limo sex, which Gideon apparently had never had before. Cary is confused by this. 

"I shrugged. 'I guess car banging makes me a slut.'

Cary grew very still. 'Is that what he said?'

'No. He didn't say shit. I got that from his "friend," Magdalene. You know, that chick in most of the photos you printed off the Internet? She decided to sharpen her claws with a little catty girl chat in the bathroom.'

'The bitch is jealous.'

'Sexual frustration. She can't fuck him, because apparently girls who fuck him go into the discard pile.'" -- Or maybe Magdalene really isn't interested? Don't go getting all superior just because you're Gideon's flavour of the week.

Eva got to work 20 minutes early on Monday so she could avoid running into Gideon, and she's relieved when she makes it to her desk without incident. The morning goes quickly until her phone rings.

"'How's your morning been so far?' he asked, his voice sending a shiver of awareness through me. 

'Hectic.' I glanced at the clock and was startled to see it was twenty minutes to noon.

'Good.' There was a pause. 'I tried calling you yesterday. I left a couple messages. I wanted to hear your voice.'

...........

His chair creaked as if he'd pushed to his feet. 'I thought about stopping by . . . I wanted to.'

I sighed, surrendering to my confusion. 'I'm glad you didn't.'

There was another long pause. 'I deserved that.'

'I didn't say it to be a bitch. It's just the truth.'

'I know. Listen . . . I arranged for lunch up here in my office so we don't waste any of the hour leaving and getting back.'

........

'Gideon, we don't have any reason to have lunch together. We hashed things out Friday night, and we . . . took care of business Saturday. Let's just leave it at that.'

'Eva.' His voice turned gruff. 'I know I fucked up. Let me explain.'

'You don't have to. It's okay.'

'It's not. I need to see you.'

'I don't want —'

'We can do this the easy way, Eva. Or you can make it difficult.' His tone took on a hard edge that made my pulse quicken. 'Either way, you'll hear me out.'" -- I mean, or not? It's pretty clear she wants you to leave her alone. Maybe do that instead of being you for once.

Instead of waiting for her to make her way up to his office, Gideon shows up unannounced in hers. As they're waiting for the elevator, Gideon decides that 'where anyone can overhear' is the perfect place to be inappropriate.

"He faced me as we waited for the car, running his fingertips down the sleeves of my satin blouse. 'Every time I close my eyes, I see you in that red dress. I hear the sounds you make when you're turned on. I feel you sliding over my cock, squeezing me like a fist, making me come so hard it hurts.' (ew.)

'Don't.' I looked away, unable to bear the intimate way he was looking at me. 

'I can't help it.'

The arrival of the elevator was a relief. He caught my hand and pulled me inside. After he put his key in the panel, he tugged me closer. 'I'm going to kiss you, Eva.'

'I don't —'

He pulled me into him and sealed his mouth over mine." -- I just. Ugh.

She ends up kissing him back after he makes no move to end the kiss, and then the elevator reaches its destination. He takes her purse and hangs it on the coat rack. 

"I handed him my purse and moved away, needing the space. He hung his coat and my purse on the coatrack, then moved to the bar.

I crossed my arms. 'Let's just get this over with. I don't want to see you anymore.'"

CHAPTER 8

Gideon runs his hand through his hair and tells Eva she doesn't mean that, and she exhaustedly replies that she does. They're not good for each other, and what happened between them was a mistake. Gideon refuses to believe that, and asks Eva if she wants to be with him. She doesn't know what he's talking about and he explains that he's used to having control and when she took control for like half a second in the limo, it got him all screwy and he didn't react very well to it. Cue shock. Cue awe. 

"'It's just sex, Gideon. Super awesome sex, but that can seriously screw with your head when the two people doing it aren't good for each other.' (this doesn't make sense - if it's just sex, why is it screwing with your head?)

'Bullshit. I've admitted I fucked up. I can't change what happened, but I can sure as shit get pissed that you want to cut me off because of it. You laid out your rules and I adjusted to accommodate them, but you won't make even a tiny adjustment for me. You have to meet me halfway.' His face was hard with frustration. 'At least give me an inch. ...... I want to keep feeling the way I feel when I'm with you. Just tell me what I have to do. And give me some room to screw up. I've never done this before. There's a learning curve.'"

There's a little more back and forth and they finally decide to enter into a RELATIONSHIP. Eva asks about exclusivity and Gideon firmly tells her she's not to be with anyone else. He doesn't bring up his own monogamy until Eva says 'yeah but you don't get to fuck anyone else either' or something along those lines. They make plans to meet after work and go to the gym and then to have "mind-blowing sex" afterwards.

"'I'll be sure to clear my schedule by five.' He resumed eating, completely at ease with the fact that we'd both just penciled mind-blowing sex into our mental day calendars." -- I mean, I know you've already had sex with him, so your expectations are high, but maybe don't call it 'mind-blowing' before it happens. What if it's lukewarm? Or you end up headbutting each other in the heat of the moment? Or you try to get too adventurous and fall off the bed? What if a foreign object gets lost somewhere? THESE ARE THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN, PEOPLE. 

He suggests he accompany her to the gym and they work out together. 

"'Really?' I turned the bottle [of ketchup] upside down and thumped the bottom with my palm.

He took it from me and used his knife to coax the ketchup onto my plate. 'It's probably best for me to work off some energy before I get you naked. I'm sure you'd like to be able to walk tomorrow.'

I stared at him, astonished by the casualness with which he'd made the statement and the rueful amusement on his face that told me he wasn't entirely kidding. My sex clenched in delicious anticipation. I could easily picture becoming seriously addicted to Gideon Cross."

Eva then kills whatever moment was unfolding by mentioning Magdalene and telling Gideon that she'll be a problem. She retells the bizarre conversation in the bathroom, and Gideon promises to talk to her. After two more pages of banal dialogue, lunch is over and it's time for Eva to leave.

"He shrugged into his jacket and I wanted to bite him, he looked so delectable.

Instead, I hopped up to sit directly in front of his chair. According to my watch I had five minutes. Barely enough time to get back to work, but still. I couldn't resist exercising my new rights. I pointed at his chair. 'Sit.'

His brows rose, but he came over without argument and settled gracefully into the seat.

I spread my legs and crooked my finger. 'Closer.'

..........

'One day soon,' I repeated against his lips, 'I'm going to kneel beneath this desk and suck you off. Maybe while you're on the phone playing with your millions like Monopoly. You, Mr. Cross, will pass Go and collect your two hundred dollars.'

His mouth curved against mine. 'I can see how this is going to go. You're going to make me lose my mind coming everywhere I can in your tight, sexy body.'"

Finally, she returns back to her office and Mark, her boss, needs to speak with her about Gideon. He's concerned that because Gideon is so attractive, Eva will be drawn into him very quickly. And, since Gideon also tends to go through women the way normal people go through toilet paper, Mark doesn't want her to get hurt and then decide she can't work there anymore. She assures him that she's a big girl and can take care of herself and isn't going to let a little thing like Gideon Cross force her out of a job she loves.

Five o'clock rolls around, and Gideon is waiting for Eva. They decide to go to Gideon's gym - the one he owns - and get in the car. On the way, Eva is introspective.

"It was a whole new world. A new city, new apartment, new job, and new man. It was a lot to take on at once. I supposed it was understandable that I felt off-balance.

I glanced at Gideon and found him staring at me with an unreadable expression. Everything inside me twisted into a mess of wild lust and vibrating anxiety. I had no idea what I was doing with him, onlyl that I couldn't stop myself even if I wanted to."

Bared to You: Chapters 5 and 6

It's NFL season, so you know what that means! Suddenly I have like 5 hours every Sunday to spend on trashy literature! WOOOOO!!

Picking up where we left off:

Eva wakes up the next morning with a raging hangover, makes some coffee, and joins Cary in the living room. When she arrives on the couch, Cary motions to a package that had come for her that morning.
"It was wrapped with brown paper and twine and had my name handwritten diagonally across the top with a decorative calligraphic flourish. Inside was an amber glass bottle with HANGOVER CURE painted on it in a white old-fashioned font and a note tied with raffia to the bottle's neck that said, Drink me. Gideon's business card was nestled in the cushioning tissue paper." -- I would not drink this.

She drinks it.

"I pried the cork out and drank the contents without thinking twice about it. It tasted like sickly sweet cough syrup. My stomach quivered in distaste for a moment and then heated.
...
'What was that?' Cary asked.
'From the burn, it's hair of the dog.'" -- I've done a brief survey of one person (husband) to think of sickly-sweet-cough-syrupy alcohol you could send someone, and we came up with Jagermeister or Sambucca. I've had Sambucca and it is NOT pleasant. You are an actual dick if you tell someone to drink this. Not as big of a dick though, as the person who blindly drinks a liquid that appeared at their house overnight.

Cary asks her if she wants to call Gideon, and she declines. She's still too fuzzy to deal with him and she needs to have a sharp mind to deal with him. He jokes that maybe their casual-but-physically-intense sex will turn into something serious and she scoffs. She doesn't want anything serious and Gideon's money turns her off. And it reminds her of her mom. 

"Love wasn't a requisite for marriage in Monica Stanton's opinion, and since her sultry-eyed, breathy-voiced beauty was irresistible to most men, she'd never had to settle for less than whatever she wanted. Unfortunately she hadn't wanted my dad for the long haul." -- your mom sounds like a dick. This must be where you get it.

Eva and Cary go out for a spa day with Eva's mother. Nothing happens except for three pages of needlessly detailed interior design. Cary casually mentions to Monica that Eva may or may not be the object of a certain millionaire's affections, and Monica, gold digger that she is, can't believe Eva hasn't married the man already. 

After the spa, Cary and Monica go shopping for cuff-links for Stanton Richard/Richard Stanton and Eva goes home to call Gideon.

"He answered on the first ring. 'Eva.'

Startled that he'd know who was calling, my mind scrambled for a moment. How did he have my  name and number in his contact list? (Honestly, how many times is she going to need reminding that he OWNS THE COMPANY SHE WORKS FOR). 'Uh . . . hi, Gideon.'

'I'm a block away. Let the front desk know I'm coming.'

'What?' I felt like I'd miss part of the conversation. 'Coming where?'

'To your place. I'm rounding the corner now. Call the desk, Eva.'" -- actually how about you get yourself to fuck and she keeps her goddamn doors locked. Who does this? He was just going to her place? Not knowing if she was home? Although he owns the building she lives in so maybe he knows that too. This guy is gross. 

She decides to let the crazy man inside. He says he's there because she took too long to call him. It has not yet been 24 hours. He tells her she looks beautiful and that he "can't remember wanting anything this much." Not someone. Like she's one of those amazing Samsung Food Showcase Refrigerators I've been pining after. 

He tells her to go with him to this charity dinner thing that night, which he already knows she's attending since her parents will be there. She doesn't want to go together because it's a high profile thing and she doesn't want to hear it from her mom, and lots of excuses, but most important, the answer was no.

"'I'll pick you up at seven.' His tongue traced the wildly throbbing vein in my throat and I melted into him, my body going lax as he pulled me close.

Still, I managed to say, 'I haven't said yes.'

'But you won't say no.' He caught my earlobe between his teeth. 'I won't let you.'" 

Will this gif be the new Buzz Lightyear?

Gideon somehow takes 'I haven't said yes,' as an invitation to untie her robe, and surprise surprise, she's naked. There is almost zero time in between naked Eva and uncomfortable Reader.

"His mouth surrounded the tip of my breast, the wash of heat bringing a mist of perspiration to my skin. 

My gaze darted frantically to the clock on the cable box. 'Gideon, no.'

His head lifted and he looked at me with stormy blue eyes. 'It's insane, I know. I don't - I can't explain it, Eva, but I have to make you come. I've been thinking about it constantly for days now.'" -- Do you want to know what I've been thinking about constantly for days now? Having more money. But you don't see me off robbing a fucking bank. Also, how cold is your skin that his breath creates condensation? I asked Craig (husband) to breathe on the back of my hand, and nothing happened. Gideon spit on you, Eva. 

"'You're wet for me,' he murmured, his gaze sliding down my body to where he was parting me with his fingers. 'You're beautiful here, too. Plush and pink. So soft.'"

Run, Eva. Before he tries to skin you alive.

Following this, Eva has three orgasms in as many sentences, which, honestly, just sounds painful. After, Gideon gets up to leave.

"'Seven o'clock, Eva.' He reached down to touch my ankle, his fingertips caressing the diamond anklet I'd put on in preparation for the evening. 'And keep this on. I want to fuck you while you're wearing nothing else.'"

And, scene.

CHAPTER 6

The chapter opens with Eva on the phone to her dad - the guy her mom never married. She tells him about her new job and going out the previous night with Cary, but deftly leaves out Gideon. Her dad asks about her mom, and she tells him she's fine.

"My chest hurt and I rubbed at it. I thought my dad might still love my mom. He'd never married. That was one of the reasons I never told him about what happened to me. As a cop, he would've insisted on pressing charges and the scandal would have destroyed my mother." -- the first half of this has literally nothing to do with the second half. You never told him what happened because he isn't married? And what does him not being married have to do with him being a cop? Also, as I think I've said before, your mother is a dick.

She gets off the phone and starts getting dressed. Her mom has sent her a dress, it's red and one-shouldered and ruched on the hip with a slit up the side. Literally everyone in the world has seen this dress. Cary tells her to wear her diamond earrings, and they spend 2 pages complimenting each other. Cary tells her he's printed out Gideon's past and left it in a folder on her desk. While he goes downstairs to let him in, Eva starts to read.

"It was like watching a train wreck to read that he was the son of Geoffrey Cross, former chairman of an investment securities firm later found to be a front for a massive Ponzi scheme. Gideon was just five years old when his dad committed suicide with a gunshot to the head rather than face prison time." -- Excellent. I was wondering when we'd get his melodramatic backstory.

She leaves her bedroom and heads to the living room to meet Gideon. He's standing at the window.

"His reflection revealed a contemplative mood. His gaze was unfocused and his mouth grim. His crossed arms betrayed an inherent unease, as if he were out of his element. He looked remote and removed, a man who was inherently alone.

He sensed my presence, or maybe he felt my yearning." -- or maybe he saw your reflection in the fucking window.

The three of them take the elevator down from Eva's apartment, Cary whistling merrily with his hands in his pockets. When the doors opened, two women waiting for the elevator gaped obviously at Cary and Gideon, something seems to happen all the time in romance novels and not at all in real life. Eva and Gideon get into his limo, and Eva decides that that's the time for sex.

"I sucked on his tongue, having learned how much he liked it, having learned how much I liked it, how much it made me want to suck him elsewhere with the same eagerness." -- This sentence just made me laugh, really.

"When he fell heavily into my palms, he groaned, the sound both pained and erotic. I squeezed him gently, my touch deliberately tender as I sized him with my hands. He was so hard, like stone, and hot." -- Edward Cullen's body felt like marble. Fifty Shades was Twilight fanfic. Bared to You is a Fifty Shades rip-off. I feel we've really come full circle here. No pun intended.

They have sex for three pages, and then Gideon kills the mood.

"He looked stunned and . . . grateful, his eyes warm and tender. 'I don't want to break up this moment.'

Because I could hear it hanging in the air, I filled it in. 'But . . . ?'

'But I can't blow off this dinner. I have a speech to give.'

'Oh.' The moment was effectively broken." -- yes, well, you can't stay in his limo all night, can you? 

They continue the drive in silence, Eva feeling more and more uncomfortable. 

"He didn't move a muscle as I shifted beside him and put my compact away, as if he weren't even aware I was there.

Abruptly, Gideon opened the bar and pulled out a bottle. Without looking at me, he asked, 'Brandy?'

'No, thank you.' My voice was small, but he didn't seem to notice. Or maybe he didn't care. He poured a drink and tossed it back.

Confused and stung, I pulled on my gloves and tried to figure out what had gone wrong." -- I'm gonna spend an entire book waiting for yet another woman who agrees to a romance-less, purely physical relationship to realise what exactly "purely physical" means, aren't I? Women who write books like this owe it to the women who read them to give their Leading Ladies more than half a brain. We are smarter than this.

Bared to You: Chapter 4

Ah, yes. I am officially on holiday from work for a whole wonderful, stress-free week. It's really a stay-cation though, which means I'll have plenty of time to spend here, sharing the joys of Sylvia Day with all of you. Whether I'll have the energy for such a task remains to be seen, but I'm feeling good just now so let's get into it.

When we left Eva and Gideon (is it just me or are these names not as good as Ana and Christian? Oh no - I've gotten attached), they were about to have sex in the middle of Gideon's office in the middle of a work day, even though Gideon had been super aggressive and predatory (I swear, if this book ends up being a bunch of rape-fantasy sex, I quit). They were startled out of their ardour by the voice of Gideon's receptionist who, thankfully, was not actually in the room (I mean *think* of the HR problems).

"'Cross stood at the far end of the sofa, flushed and scowling, his chest heaving. His tie was loosened and the fly of his slacks strained against a very impressive erection."

"'Christ.' He shoved both hands through his hair. 'It's the middle of the fucking day. In my goddamn fucking office!'" -- I know, right?

They adjust their clothes and attempt to look more like colleagues and less like the embarrassments they are. Eva reaches for her purse and Gideon takes her chin in his hand and asks if she's okay.

"I jerk my chin away. 'Do I look okay?'

'You look beautiful and fuckable. I want you so badly it hurts. (that's just your optical illusion straining against your slacks) I'm dangerously close to taking you back to the couch and making you come 'til you beg me to stop.'" -- Is this where I'm supposed to swoon?

Gideon tells her that he'll move what he has to around and come get her at 5, something she has not previously agreed to. 

"'No, you won't. This doesn't change anything.'

'The hell it doesn't.'

'Don't be arrogant, Cross. I lost my head for a second, but I still don't want what you want.'

His fingers curled around the door handle. 'Yes, you do. You just don't want it the way I want to give it to you. So, we'll revisit and revise.'" -- Be still, my heart.

He's so romantic.

"He stood calmly and hit the call button. 'Five o'clock, Eva.'

I stared at the lighted button. 'I'm busy.'

'Tomorrow, then.'

'I'm busy all weekend.'

Stepping in front of me, he asked tightly, 'With whom?'

'That's none of your —'

His hand covered my mouth. 'Don't. Tell me when, then. And before you say never, take a good look at me and tell me if you see a man who's easily deterred.'

..........

Just before the doors closed, he said, 'We're going to happen, Eva.'

It sounded as much like a threat as a promise."

For perspective, I am on Day Four of trying to blog this one chapter. The goal is to finish it before I start work again. Here we go.

Eva gets back to work late, because her lunch/erotic rendezvous ran a little long. She feels bad but her boss tells her not to worry because he also had a late lunch. They get back to work, and before she knows it, it's 5pm and her stalker is probably lurking somewhere in the building waiting to ambush her before she goes home. And they say romance is dead.

The office phone rings and it's her mother, calling to inform her she left her cell phone at Stanton Richard's (Richard Stanton's?) office. She knows this, since she tracks it. Eva asks her mother what her therapist thinks about her tracking her phone, and it sort of seems like she hasn't told him. Surprising. Eva suggests a joint session, and her mother agrees. They exchange platitudes: how Eva really likes her job, how her boss is great, and absolutely nothing about the walking restraining order waiting to happen. They make a date to have a spa day, and Eva leaves for home. Not five minutes after she's hung up the phone, it rings again. Thinking it's her very distracted mother again, she answers.

"'I'm still thinking about you.'

The velvet rasp of Cross's voice flooded me with such relief that I realized I'd been hoping to hear it again. Today.

God. The craving was so acute I knew he'd become a drug to my body, the prime source of some very intense highs.

'I can still feel you, Eva. Still taste you. I've been hard since you left, through two meetings and one teleconference...'" -- You might want to see a doctor, dude. I'm pretty sure that isn't supposed to happen. Also, it sounds like you're not paying enough attention to running your business. Unless that really does it for you.

She tells him she still doesn't want to sleep with him (honestly I've lost track of how many times this poor woman has had to say 'no'), and suggests that instead he should "Go spend time with a woman who salivates at your feet and makes you feel like a god. Fuck her until neither of you can walk." The theory behind this is that the next time he sees her, he'll not be interested anymore. Which is not, I don't think, how sexual attraction works at all, but okay. 

"The creak of leather sounded over the phone and I imagined him leaning back in his desk chair. 'That was your one free pass. The next time you insult my intelligence, I'll take you over my knee.'" -- WEALTHY MAN IN POSITION OF POWER THREATENS TO HIT SUBORDINATE: FULL STORY AT 9. Seriously, though, is there an HR department at this place or is that literally just Gideon and a whip?

Instead of telling him to fuck off, Eva says she needs to go because she has a date with her vibrator, which, if anything, will just encourage this behaviour. To prove my point, Gideon's next question is: "What will it take to talk you into a threesome with B.O.B.?" Now, perhaps due to my own ignorance, but more likely due to the fact that absolutely NO ONE calls a vibrator 'B.O.B.', my first thought at that question was not "Battery-Operated Boyfriend", but instead that Gideon was suggesting a threesome with a mediocre rap artist who hadn't even been consulted to gauge his interest.

And the thing - the really painful thing - is that her comeback is good! It is! But. ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I just can't take her seriously. 

"'B.O.B. and I have a longtime understanding — when we're done with each other, we know exactly which one of us has been used, and it isn't me. Good night, Gideon.'" -- BAM! YES! That is how it's done! Is what I would say if I believed for a second it was going to make an ounce of difference.

Upon arriving home, Eva is so happy to be away from Gideon that she dances through the door and interrupts a private, though non-compromising, moment between Cary and his maybe boyfriend, Trey. Seeing them together makes Eva bitter about how clinical and impersonal Gideon wants their sexy time to be. Eva takes a bottle of wine out of the fridge and Parker (the Krav Maga guy) calls. Richard-Stanton has decided to fund some safety improvements to the studio, and Parker is super excited about it. Trey leaves for class and after complaining about Gideon and her mother, Eva and Cary decide to go to a club to get her mind off of things.

They bounce around from club to club until they come across some dude near a Walgreens promoting a lounge. It's very fancy and all they have to do is show the card he gives them and they get in free. They're just settling in and ordering drinks when surprise surprise, Gideon shows up and plants a domineering hand on Eva's shoulder. Cary abandons Eva, like a good friend, and goes to dance. Throughout the course of the painfully forced dialogue, we learn a few things about Gideon and the night Eva's been having that, honestly, are too ridiculous to even be fiction.

"'Do you come here often?'

Shit. Where did that cliched line come from?

His hand dropped to my lap and caught one of mine, his fingers curling into my palm. 'When necessary.'

......

Gideon's mouth curved into a genuine smile that hit me hard. 

'When expensive decisions need to be made. I own this club, Eva.'

Of course he did. Jeez."  -- Yes. Of course he does.

The waitress comes around with two vodka cranberries, which Gideon ordered, and which Eva has been drinking all night. Suspicious.

"'Not bad,' he murmured. 'Tell me if we made it right.'

He kissed me. He moved in fast, but I saw it coming and didn't turn away. His mouth was cold and flavored with alcohol-laced cranberry. ..... I shoved a hand in his glorious hair and clenched it tight, holding him still as I sucked on his tongue (ew?). His groan was the most erotic sound I'd ever heard, making the flesh between my legs tighten viciously.

Shocked by the fury of my reaction, I wrenched away, gasping.

Gideon followed, nuzzling the side of my face, his lips brushing over my ear. He was breathing hard, too, and the sound of the ice in his tumbler clinking against the glass skittered across my inflamed senses.

'I need to be inside you, Eva,' he whispered roughly. 'I'm aching for you.'"

Strained though her brain is at the moment, Eva manages to remember that he bought her the drink she'd been downing all night without asking her what she'd been drinking, and thinks it's weird. She asks him how he knew her drink and Cary's name (yeah he knew who he was too, I just didn't think it was important enough to write about), and the conversation just falls apart from there.

"'You visited another of my clubs earlier. Your credit card popped and your drinks were recorded. And Cary Taylor is listed on the rental agreement for your apartment.'

The room spun. No way . . . My cell phone. My credit card. My fucking apartment. I couldn't breath. Between my mother and Gideon, I felt claustrophobic.

'Eva. Jesus. You're white as a ghost.' He shoved a glass into my hand. 'Drink.'

It was the Stoli and cranberry. I pounded it, draining the tumbler. My stomach churned for a moment, then settled. 'You own the building I live in?' I gasped.

'Oddly enough, yes.'" -- fucking seriously?

"'Is that why you're here in this club right now? Because of me? And don't say what you think I want to hear.'

His gaze was clear and steady. 'I'm here for you, yes. I arranged it.'

Suddenly the threads the street hawker had been wearing made sense. We'd been hustled by someone on Cross Industries' payroll. 'Did you figure that getting me here would get you laid?'

His mouth twitched with suppressed amusement. 'There's always the hope, but I expected it would take more work than a chance meeting over drinks.'

'You're right. So why do it? Why not wait until Monday lunch?'

'Because you're out trolling. I can't do anything about B.O.B., but I can stop you from picking up some asshole in a bar. You want to score, Eva, I'm right here.'" -- Is this supposed to be endearing? Am I honestly supposed to swoon over a petulant manchild literally declaring IF I CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH YOU THEN YOU CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE ELSE! 

They spend the rest of the evening, believe it or not, literally negotiating the terms of their inevitable sexual adventures. She needs more than an 'emotionless transaction,' and he cannot even begin to understand why. They decide that, occasionally, when they're not having sex, they'll spend time together not having sex, and Eva promises she won't ever think it's a date, so I guess that's their sex life sorted for the foreseeable future.

"Duffy began begging for mercy, her voice drifting up from the dance floor below. An unwelcome ache developed in my chest and I rubbed at it. 

I'd already had enough, but I heard myself saying, 'I need another drink.'" -- Don't we all, Eva.

Bared to You: Chapter 3

When we last saw Eva, she was telling Cary that she wanted to check out the Krav Maga classes in Brooklyn. She's decided they should go check out the class offered by that one dude at the gym in chapter one.
"'There's no way your mom and Stanton are going to let you come out here at night multiple times a week,' Cary said, hugging his stylish denim jacket around him even though it wasn't more than slightly chilly." -- Am I supposed to believe that this woman has moved away from her parents, has her own apartment (albeit probably on mommy and daddy's dime), and somehow they're still telling her where she can and cannot go? Is it hard to write a protagonist who and think and act for herself? 

She asks Cary why he thinks Stanton will find out, since she's not going to tell him or her mother about her new found interest.
"'She won't understand. She'll think I want to protect myself because of what happened, and she'll feel guilty and give me grief about it. She won't believe my main interest is exercise and stress relief.'" -- Right, so here's the thing. Even if your main interest was self-defence, why on earth would any parent on the planet have a problem with that? I'm only guessing (but I'm a pretty good guesser), but soon there's going to be a reveal of sexual assault in Eva's past, and if that's the case (and it will be), why would learning to defend herself be seen as anything other than empowering? 

The next day at work, Eva is whining internally about having to spend the whole weekend away from Gideon Cross. Mark is going over something businessy with her when the phone rings. It's Stanton (Richard?? I don't fucking know, she calls him both. Richard Stanton? Stanton Richard? Is it a double-barrelled first name???? I NEED ANSWERS). He wants to have lunch, and Mark is nice enough to give her 2 hours. Stanton-Richard joins her shortly after she arrives, and and they start to eat.

"'Eva love, I wanted to discuss your interest in Krav Maga.'

I froze. 'Excuse me?'

Stanton took a sip of iced water and leaned back, his jaw taking on the rigidity that warned me I wouldn't like what he was about to say. 

'Your mother was quite distraught last night when you went to that studio in Brooklyn. It took some time to calm her down and to assure her that I could make arrangements for you to pursue your interests in a safe manner. She doesn't want —'

'Wait.' I set my fork down carefully, my appetite gone. 'How did she know where I was?'

'She tracked your cell phone.'

..........

'She has to let it go. I've let it go.'

'You were an innocent, Eva. She feels guilty for not protecting you. We need to give her a little latitude.'" -- What the actual fuck. Also, "you were an innocent"???? Do people really talk like that?

Richard-Stanton goes on to say that he's arranged for a driver to take her to and from Brooklyn whenever she needs to go - it will be more convenient and safer I guess. Eva is rightfully upset and tells him he's enabling her mother and keeping her sick and she needs to get back to work. She leaves her phone with the receptionist and meets Clancy (Stanton-Richard's driver) in the lobby. On her ride home, she thinks of her mother, who is 'so emotional and fragile'. Thank goodness she has a big strong man to take care of her. 

On her way back to work, she stopped at a corner store and bought a bunch of chocolate, which might be the most relatable thing she's done yet. She gets into an empty elevator at work and shovels the first one into her mouth in frustration. She was just enjoying 'the comfort of dark chocolate and caramel melting over [her] tongue,' when the elevator doors opened on the fourth floor to none other than Gideon Cross. Cue shock. Cue awe.

I hope you enjoy laughing at this. It might be the last time you smile in this chapter.

Gideon gets into the elevator with her, and she decides that it would be 'safer for her sanity' if she stepped out and took a different car up. Instead, Cross grabs her by the elbow and drags her back into the elevator. He overrides the car with a key and it begins its ascent to the top floor. 

"'I'm not in the mood for you now, Mr. Cross.'

He watched the antique-style needle above the doors mark the passing floors. 'I can get you in the mood.'

'I'm not interested.'

Cross glanced over his shoulder at me. His shirt and tie were both the same rich cerulean as his irises. The effect was striking. 'No lies, Eva. Ever.'

'That's not a lie. So what if I'm attracted to you? I expect most women are.' Wrapping up what was left of my candy bar, I shoved it back into the shopping bag I'd tucked into my purse. I didn't need chocolate when I was sharing air with Gideon Cross. 'But I'm not interested in doing anything about it.'" -- In case anyone is curious, that literally 4 times in 119 words that she denies his advance. Four. Times.

"'Call me crazy, but I have to actually like someone before I get naked and sweaty with him.'

'Not crazy,' he said. 'But I don't have the time or the inclination to date.'

'That makes two of us. Glad we got that cleared up.'

He stepped closer, his hand lifting to my face. I forced myself not to move away or give him the satisfaction of seeing me intimidated. His thumb brushed over the corner of my mouth, then lifted to his own. He sucked on the pad and purred, 'Chocolate and you. Delicious.'" -- See, this. This is where that Krav Maga might come in fucking handy.

He tells her that romance isn't in his repertoire - how original - but 'a thousand ways to make [her] come are.' Ew. When the elevator stops, she 'backed into the corner and shooed him out with a flick of [her] wrist. "I'm really not interested."' Instead of leaving her to go back to work, he grabs her elbow again and steers her out of the elevator. They're walking to his office and he tells his receptionist to hold all of his calls.

'"I have to go back to work.'

'And I have a meeting at two. The sooner we work this out, the sooner we can both get back to business. Now, sit down.'

'What do you think we're going to work out?'

Sighing, he scooped me up like a bride and carried me over to the sofa. He dropped me on my butt, then sat next to me. 'Your objections. It's time to discuss what it's going to take to get you beneath me.'

'A miracle.' I pushed back from him, widening the space between us. I tugged at the hem of my emerald green skirt, wishing I'd worn pants instead. 'I find your approach crude and offensive.'"

"I pushed myself to my feet and backed out of his reach. 'Casual sex doesn't have to include wine and roses, but for God's sake, whatever else it is, sex should be personal. Friendly even. With mutual respect at the very least.'

His humor fled as he stood, his eyes darkening. 'There are no mixed signals in my private affairs. You want me to blur that line. I can't think of a good reason to.'

'I don't want you to do jack shit, besides let me get back to work.' I strode to the door and yanked on the handle, cursing softly when it didn't budge. 'Let me out, Cross.'

I felt him come up behind me. His palms pressed flat to the glass on either side of my shoulders, caging me in. I couldn't think of my own self-preservation when he was so close."

(If you've not been keeping count, that's 12 times now in a page and a half that she's told him some form of no. Twelve.)

THIS. IS. NOT. SEXY.

Except apparently it is. Cross requests that she turn and face him to say goodbye, as he's decided she's not worth the effort. How sweet. She turns and he tells her to kiss him. Somehow this is something she wants to do, so they kiss. A lot. He carries her over to the couch and they're all hands and tongues and she's basically ready to fuck him in his office on her lunch break. 

"'Jesus, Eva.' A low rumble vibrated in his chest, the primitive sound sending goose bumps racing across my skin. 'Your boss is damned lucky he's gay.'" 

The chapter ends with them just about to finally capitalise on 44 whole pages of lust when Gideon jumps to his feet.

"Abruptly, he yanked himself away, stumbling to his feet.

I lay there gasping and wet, so willing and ready. Then I realized why he'd reacted so fiercely.

Someone was behind him."

*spoiler alert, it's just the speaker on his office phone.

Bared to You: Chapter 2

'His tie was silver and his shirt brilliantly white, the stark absence of color emphasizing those amazing blue irises. As he stood there with his jacket open and his hands shoved casually into his pants pockets, the sight of him was like running smack into a wall I hadn't known was there.' 

She nearly misses the elevator while contemplating the texture of his hair, which for whatever reason is described as 'like whipped cream topping on a hot-fudge brownie sundae.' Being the gentleman that he is, this as yet nameless, long-haired mystery pushes the button to re-open the doors, stating that there's plenty of room for both of them. She contemplates telling him that she's waiting for someone, but then realises that since he's been in the building two days in a row now, he probably works there and it's unlikely she can avoid him forever.

'I couldn't avoid him every time I saw him, and why should I? If I wanted to get to the point where I could look at him and take his hotness for granted, I needed to see him often enough that he became like furniture.' 

She gets into the elevator and immediately regrets her decision. The tension is palpable, and her breathing becomes ragged. You'd think this would be pretty noticeable in a small enclosed space with only one other person, but maybe its got really loud machinery. He asks if she enjoyed her first day, and she answers coldly, which he doesn't really deserve at this point in the story. Finally, though, it's time to leave the elevator.

'I waited impatiently as the elevator emptied, and the first chance I got, I took a step forward. His hand settled firmly at the small of my back and he walked out beside me, steering me. The sensation of his touch on such a vulnerable place rippled through me.' -- Well it would, wouldn't it? Since you're obviously at least colleagues, but basically strangers, and his hand has absolutely no business being anywhere on your body at this moment. Is it too much for me to hope you smack him in the next paragraph?

'We reached the turnstiles and his hand fell away, leaving me feeling oddly bereft.' -- Yep, guess so.

The next morning, Eva arrives at work with a mild hangover, because she went out drinking with Cary the night before.

'My choices were either too much alcohol or a whirl with my vibrator, and I was damned if I'd have a battery-powered orgasm starring Dark and Dangerous. Not that he'd know or even care that he made me so horny I couldn't see straight, but I'd know, and I didn't want to give the fantasy of him the satisfaction.' -- What.

When her boss, Mark, arrives, he's very excited and asks if she can work late. They've received a request for a proposal to do the marketing for some vodka brand, and apparently he's been asked for by name. She agrees, and they spend the whole day working. A little after 7pm, Mark's boyfriend (husband? it's not really clear) calls and asks if they've eaten yet. They haven't, so Steve, being the gem that he is, brings Chinese. They eat, and Steve tries a bit of banter with Eva.

'"Damn, girl," Steven said with a whistle, as I went for a third helping. "You can put it away. Where does it go?"

I shrugged. "To the gym with me. Maybe that helps . . .?"

.......

"I might have to take her out to lunch with the crew. I could win money betting on how much she can eat."

I smiled. "That could be fun."

"Ha. I knew you had a bit of a wild streak. It's in your smile."

Looking down at my food, I refused to let my mind wander into memories of just how wild I'd been in my rebellious, self-destructive phase.' -- I mean, aside from the painfully sloppy foreshadowing, is her ability to eat large quantities of food really indicative of her having a 'wild streak'? Man, would he be impressed with what I can do to a pizza.

The next day, they work tirelessly on their proposal to get it ready in time for their 4 o'clock meeting. They go up to the very top floor of the building, walk into the conference room, and somehow, we're supposed to be surprised at who they find sitting at the table.

'My abrupt stop bottlenecked the threshold and Mark ran into my back, sending me stumbling forward. Dark and Dangerous caught me by the waist, hauling me off my feet and directly into his chest. The air left my lungs in a rush, followed immediately by every bit of common sense I possessed. Even through the layers of clothing between us, his biceps were like stone beneath my palms, his stomach a hard slab of muscle against my own. When he sucked in a sharp breath, my nipples tightened, stimulated by the expansion of his chest.' -- YOU. ARE. AT. WORK. Keep your shit together, for fuck sake. Also, are you expecting me to believe that in a room full of people, no one found it weird that instead of helpfully keeping you standing, he lifted you off the ground and pulled you against his body? Really?

The meeting goes well, and Cross (we've now learned Dark and Dangerous's last name) escorts Eva and her boss to the elevator. He lets Mark get in, but tells Eva he'd like a word.

'Cross said nothing until the car was on its way down; then he pushed the call button again and asked, "Are you sleeping with anyone?"

The question was asked so casually, it took a second to process what he'd said.

I inhaled sharply. "Why is that any business of yours?" 

.....

"Because I want to fuck you, Eva. I need to know what's standing in my way, if anything."' -- Well. I mean. Consent, for one thing. 

The elevator arrives and she takes it downstairs. Her boss is naturally concerned, but she doesn't tell him anything. She suggests he celebrate the meeting going well, and makes reservations for him and Steve at a restaurant. 

Once home, Eva relays the exchange to Cary, who seems way too eager for her to take Cross up on his offer. He says Cross wasn't giving her boss the vodka account on accident, but wants to get close to her. He then shows her a picture of her building and announces that Gideon Cross owns it - at an incredible 28 years old. So now Dark and Dangerous has not just a last name, but also a first name, an age, and a building. The problem is that Eva doesn't really want to sleep with him at the moment because it would be awkward seeing him at work, and she's irritated at the way he put himself out there. She's more than a vagina with legs, guys. 

'He shut his netbook with a decisive snap. 'What should we do tonight?'

'I was thinking I'd like to go check out that Krav Maga studio in Brooklyn.' I'd done a little research after meeting Parker Smith during my workout at Equinox, and as the week passed, the thought of having that kind of raw, physical outlet for stress seemed more and more ideal.

I knew it wouldn't be anything close to banging the hell out of Gideon Cross, but I suspected it would be a lot less dangerous to my health."

If You Liked Fifty Shades....

... then you're going to LOVE what I have in store for you next. As I was perusing the shelves of used books at a charity shop in Helensburgh today, I stumbled across Bared to You, a Fifty Shades ripoff spawned by Sylvia Day. It was in that shop, with my dear husband, mortified that I was actually going to present this book to the cashier and pay real money for it, that I decided this would be my next blogging adventure. Below, I have provided the printed synopsis of the book as a sort of disclaimer: read on at your own risk. 

Gideon Cross came into my life like lightning in the darkness - beautiful and brilliant, jagged and white hot. I was drawn to him as I'd never been to anything or anyone in my life. I craved his touch like a drug, even knowing it would weaken me. I was flawed and damaged, and he opened those cracks in me so easily… 

Gideon knew. He had demons of his own. And we would become the mirrors that reflected each other's most private wounds… and desires. 

The bonds of his love transformed me, even as I prayed that the torment of our pasts didn't tear us apart…

Our journey begins in Manhattan with Eva Tramell and her roommate (boyfriend?) Cary Taylor. Eva has just landed a new job and Cary wants to go celebrate with some wine, but Eva needs to walk to work and then go to the gym, which will apparently take the entire day. Careful not to over-exert herself before the workout begins, Eva takes the elevator to the ground floor of her apartment building.

'In my dreams, I'd imagined living in a walkup in Brooklyn, but being a dutiful daughter, I found myself on the Upper West Side instead. If not for Cary living with me, I would've been miserably lonely in the sprawling apartment that cost more per month than most people made in a year.' -- There's quite a lot to unpack here. First, why do your parents need you to live on the Upper West Side? Do they live there? Are they paying your rent? Are they afraid of Brooklyn? Second, a teensy tiny bit of research (literally 2 Google searches here, people) will tell you that the median household income in 2012, when your book was published, for the Upper West Side was $93,258*. The median household income for the entirety of New York City in that year was $50,711**. Today, right this minute, 2-bedroom apartments in the Upper West Side are on the market for $3,000 - $7,000 per month***. Even if we account for two incomes in a household - let's say hypothetically, that the two adults make $25,355 a year each- please. Please, explain to me how you expect me to believe that your previously unemployed protagonist is living in an apartment that somehow amounts to somewhere between $304,266 and $608,532 a year****. 

*https://project.wnyc.org/median-income-nabes/

**https://project.wnyc.org/median-income-nabes/

***https://www.zillow.com/homes/for_rent/Upper-West-Side-Manhattan-New-York-NY/apartment_duplex_type/270958_rid/2-_beds/40.807702,-73.940778,40.766436,-74.014593_rect/13_zm/

****25,355 and 50,711 multiplied by 12, respectively

She leaves her house and contemplates life in the city. She moved from San Diego, a city probably built from sticks and mud and traversed by horse-drawn carriages, and is amazed that technology exists.

'I was in awe of the lumbering garbage trucks that navigated tiny one-way streets and the package delivery drivers who braved the bumper-to-bumper traffic while facing rigid deadlines.'

As she walks to work, she contemplates how she ended up here. She's determined to make a living 'on her own merits,' and so will be starting an entry-level job. It's clear she values responsibility and adulthood, demonstrated by the fact that her father is paying her student loans (and probably her rent too), and apparently insists on doing so. 

'I pulled my new ID card out of the inner pocket of my pants and held it up for the two guards in black business suits at the desk. They stopped me anyway, no doubt because I was majorly underdressed, but then they cleared me through. After I completed an elevator ride up to the twentieth floor, I'd have a general time frame for the whole route from door to door. Score.'

On her way to the elevators, she falls flat on her ass and finally comes face to face with the man I assume she's going to be seeing a lot of in the next 5 (yes, FIVE) books.

'Inky black hair framed a breathtaking face. His bone structure would make a sculptor weep with joy while a firmly etched mouth, a blade of a nose, and intensely blue eyes made him savagely gorgeous.

........

"Are you all right?"

His voice was cultured and smooth, with a rasp that made my stomach flutter. It brought sex to mind. Extraordinary sex. I thought for a moment that he might be able to make me orgasm just by talking long enough.'

She goes home and Cary has some bizarre form of spaghetti waiting for her ('tiny tubes of salad noodles covered in a skimpy tomato sauce with lumps of ground beef and peas'). She relays her experience with the man she has dubbed "Dark and Dangerous" over dinner and wine. Cary was horrified to learn she hadn't flirted with the stranger, and conversation turned to his modelling career. Maybe that's how they afford such a grand apartment.

Eva's first day of work went the way most first days of work go - introductions, tours, generally taking it easy. She'd not had another run-in with Dark and Dangerous all day, but then it was time to go home.

'When I reached the bank of elevators, I pulled out my cell to text a quick "On my way" note to Cary. A ding alerted me to which car was stopping on my floor and I moved over to stand in front of it, briefly returning my attention to hitting the send button. When the doors opened, I took a step forward. I glanced up to watch where I was going and blue eyes met mine. My breath caught.

The sex god was the lone occupant.'