Welcome to the first instalment of Fifty Shades Darker, the second in ELJ's attempted-bdsm-but-really-got-all-her-info-from-Wikipedia-and-inadvertently-wrote-one-of-the-most-mainstream-abusive-relationships-but-still-tries-to-pass-it-off-as-erotica trilogy.
The book opens bizarrely with a page of prologue written from Christian's perspective - clearly foreshadowing to her future publishing endeavours. Christian is dreaming of his mother being beaten with a belt (like father (or random male figure) like son, I guess), and wakes up frightened. His nightmares are back, which probably has something to do with Ana leaving. I don't know why this is important.
Ana has survived "Day Three Post-Christian" and has started her new job. Her boss is a guy called Jack Hyde, and I can't figure out if that's just ELJ's way of trying to hint that maybe he'll be a Jekyll-and-Hyde-type-character (spoilers) or if I'm giving her waaaay too much credit. Ana finishes her first day unremarkably and ponders as she returns home.
"The apartment is empty. I miss Kate, and I imagine her lying on a beach in Barbados sipping a cool cocktail. I turn on the flat-screen television so there's noise to fill the vacuum and provide some semblance of company, but I don't listen or watch. I sit and stare blankly at the brick wall. I am numb. I feel nothing but the pain. How long must I endure this?" -- I mean... probably at least until you realise that being numb and feeling pain are two totally separate things?
"And so a pattern develops: wake, work, cry, sleep. Well, try to sleep. I can't even escape him in my dreams. Gray burning eyes, his lost look, his hair burnished and bright all haunt me. And the music . . . so much music - I cannot bear to hear any music. I am careful to avoid it at all costs. Even the jingles in commercials make me shudder.
I have spoken to no one, not even my mother or Ray. I don't have the capacity for idle talk now. No, I want non of it. I have become my own island state. A ravaged, war-torn land where nothing grows and the horizons are bleak. Yes, that's me. I can interact impersonally at work, but that's it. If I talk to Mom, I know I will break even further - and I have nothing left to break."
Then, one day, after surviving for an entire 3 days and 4 nights on coffee and diet coke (her words, not mine), she receives an email at work. It's from Christian, asking if she got the flowers he sent her as a congratulations for starting her job - which is a shitty thing to do if she just dumped you for beating her but fine. He then offers to drive her to Jose's gallery opening in Portland which, again, feels like a dick move. Immediately after reading the email she starts to cry and runs to the bathroom. While there she realises that she's not heard from anyone because she's been having all of her calls forwarded to the BlackBerry that Christian gave her and that she gave back, so he's been randomly getting all of them. She wonders for a while how he got her email address and decides that if he got her shoe size, there's no hiding anything from him, so this is completely normal. She responds to his email that she'd appreciate a ride, calls Jose to find out what time she should be there, and emails Christian again with this information. That night, she has a restless sleep.
"The day drags and drags and Jack is unusually attentive. I suspect it's due to Kate's plum dress and the black high-heeled boots I've stolen from her closet, but I don't dwell on the thought. I resolve to go clothes shopping with my first paycheck. The dress is looser on me than it was, but I pretend not to notice." -- Not sure if I should start with the obviously creepy boss or the fact that she's been starving herself, but this whole thing is fucked up. Also??? If Ana is supposed to be so plain and unassuming, why does it feel like every man in every city she happens to visit wants to bang her?
It's 5:30, and Ana leaves work after being awkwardly ushered out by her creepy new boss. Taylor is waiting and she gets into the car to find Christian. He's angry because she's lost weight and even though she left him, this is still his business. They arrive at Christian's building and get into the elevator to make their way to his helicopter. The sexual tension is palpable.
"'Please don't bite your lip, Anastasia,' he whispers.
I gaze up at him, releasing my lip. I want him. Here, now, in the elevator. How could I not?
'You know what it does to me,' he murmurs.
Oh, I still affect him." -- IT'S BEEN FIVE DAYS OF COURSE YOU STILL AFFECT HIM YOU DOORKNOB HE DIDN'T DUMP YOU BECAUSE HE THOUGHT YOU WERE UNATTRACTIVE YOU CRAZY PERSON, YOU LEFT HIM - ps he still wants to smack you around so maybe it was for the best
They get into the helicopter and begin their flight to Portland. In the car on the way to the opening, Christian tells Ana that she's lost weight and that's a no-no because he wants her back. Conveniently, this admission comes as they pull up to the gallery, so Christian tells her they'll talk about it later. Ana recognises that the area is too public for this conversation (after all, he'd probably get arrested for hitting her in public), and decides to let it go. Christian takes her hand - I don't know why that's okay - and leads her into the gallery.
Christian goes off to get drinks and Jose spots Ana.
"'How did you get here?' he asks.
'Christian brought me,' I say, suddenly apprehensive.
'Oh.' Jose's face falls and he releases me. 'Where is he?' His expression darkens.
'Over there, fetching drinks.' I nod in Christian's direction and notice that he's exchanging pleasantries with someone waiting in line. Christian glances up and our eyes lock. And in that brief moment, I'm paralyzed, staring at the impossibly handsome man who gazes at me with some unfathomable emotion. His gaze hot, burning into me, and we're lost for a moment staring at each other.
Holy cow . . . This beautiful man wants me back, and deep down inside me sweet joy slowly unfurls like a morning glory in the early dawn." -- what the actual fuck
There are lots of photos at the show, and it turns out Jose is super talented. Then they turn a corner and come face to face with seven portraits of Ana. She's mortified and Christian buys them all because he 'doesn't want strangers ogling her in the privacy of their home.' The photos change the tone of the evening from fun to serious when Christian remarks that he never sees her as relaxed as she is in the portraits and we as readers realise that he's literally the only person who doesn't understand why.
Christian decides it's time to leave even though they haven't even been there an hour, and Ana says goodbye to Jose. Knowing it will make Christian jealous, she wraps her arms around Jose's neck. Christian glares at her and nearly drags her out of the gallery. Once outside, he pulls her into an alley and pushes her against a wall, which seems safe and totally like something she should be okay with.
They kiss a lot, and Ana has desire exploding within her "like the Fourth of July."
"'You. Are. Mine,' he snarls, emphasizing each word. (except she's not, but go on) He pushes away from me and bends, hands on his knees as if he's run a marathon. 'For the love of God, Ana.'
I lean against the wall, panting, trying to control the riotous reaction in my body, trying to find my equilibrium.
'I'm sorry,' I whisper once my breath has returned.
'You should be. I know what you were doing. Do you want the photographer, Anastasia? He obviously has feelings for you.'
I shake my head, guiltily. 'No. He's just a friend.'
'I have spent all my adult life trying to avoid any extreme emotion. Yet you . . . you bring out feelings in me that are completely alien. It's very . . . ' He frowns, grasping for the word. 'Unsettling.'
'I like control, Ana, and around you that just' - he stands, his gaze intense - 'evaporates.'" -- except it doesn't?? at all?????? that's why you dragged her away from her friend's big night?????? because you want to control her. you walnut.
