As I'm sure you recall, Christian has just flipped Ana over his shoulder and is carrying her to the boathouse. He turns on some lights and carries Ana up a flight of stairs and into the attic. The room has a couple couches, but Ana isn't focused on those.
"I am mesmerized . . . watching him like one would watch a rare and dangerous predator, waiting for him to strike." -- like this, then?
"His breathing is harsh, but then he's just carried me across the lawn and up a flight of stairs. Gray eyes blaze with anger, need, and pure unadulterated lust.
Holy shit. I could spontaneously combust from his look alone." -- Get it? His eyes are gray, his last name is Grey, he lives in Seattle which is perpetually gray (grey?). Symbolism.
She asks him (actually, pleads) not to hit her - she doesn't want him to spank her there. He appears surprised, which is interesting, since he's totally aware of how she feels about being physically assaulted, and she capitalises on his surprise by taking the moment to brush his cheek with her hand, and then run her other hand through his hair. They begin kissing, and then Christian is confused.
"'What are you doing to me?' he whispers, confused. (see?)
'Kissing you.'
'You said no.'
'What?' No to what?
'At the dinner table, with your legs.'
Oh . . . that's what this is all about.
'But we were at your parents' dinner table.' I stare up at him, completely bewildered.
'No one's ever said no to me before. And it's so - hot.'" -- Is it? You tried to get your hand in her crotch, she closed her legs, denying you access, effectively saying no. And that's ......... hot?? You're just dying for a chance to actually rape someone, aren't you, Christian?
She questions him about being angry and aroused because she said no, and he offers an explanation.
"'I'm mad because you never mentioned Georgia to me. I'm mad because you went drinking with that guy who tried to seduce you when you were drunk (pot calling the kettle black a little, don't you think?) and who left you when you were ill with an almost complete stranger. What kind of friend does that? (who the fuck knows, Christian. We've already established Ana's abysmal taste in people.) And I'm mad and aroused because you closed your legs to me.' His eyes glitter dangerously, and he's slowly inching up the hem of my dress." -- Sloppy verb tenses aside, I go back to my original statement. Christian is just dying for a chance to actually rape her.
He tells her he's going to fuck her (at least she has some warning?) and then Ana seems to lose touch with reality.
"Abruptly, he moves, doing several things at once: withdrawing his fingers, leaving me wanting, unzipping his fly, and pushing me down on the couch so he's lying on top of me." -- I've done some consulting, and the only way he could accomplish all three of these things at once is if he was standing perpendicular to her and rammed her with his shoulder while also removing his fingers with one hand and undoing his zipper with the other. I imagine it looks like he just sort of topples over, takes her with him, and they accidentally land on the couch.
They have sex (shocking, I know), and just as they're straightening up, Mia appears and says that Kate and Elliot are leaving. They go to say goodbye and Ana attempts to scold Kate for her comments about Jose earlier. Kate laughs it off because she's a super good friend, and they leave. Christian and Ana also leave, and in the car, Ana tells him that she thinks he only invited her because Kate was there.
"'If Elliot hadn't asked Kate, you'd never have asked me.' I can't see his face in the dark, but he tilts his head, gaping at me.
'Anastasia, I'm delighted that you've met my parents. Why are you so filled with self-doubt? It never ceases to amaze me. You're such a strong, self-contained young woman, but you have such negative thoughts about yourself. If I hadn't wanted you to meet them, you wouldn't be here. Is that how you were feeling the whole time?'
Oh! He wanted me there - and it's a revelation." -- I hate you.
The conversation moves on to Ana's potential trip to Georgia. She's feeling overwhelmed by Christian and his intensity and is having second thoughts. He'd like to know why.
"Holy crap. How did this suddenly become such an intense and meaningful conversation? It's been sprung on me, like an exam that I'm not prepared for. What do I say? Because I think I love you, and you just see me as a toy. Because I can't touch you, because I'm too frightened to show you any affection in case you flinch or tell me off or worse - beat me? What can I say?" -- You can say literally all of that.
The ride home is full of tension and bizarre desire, as Christian tries to read Ana's mind and Ana makes strange metaphors about Christian's life as a dark knight. They get to Christian's apartment and Ana is tired because she's been "prevailed upon in ways [she] never thought possible". Christian tells her he may prevail upon her again, and, despite this being like the third week they've been fucking, she is surprised.
"I raise my eyebrows. 'You're going to settle for plain old vanilla?'
He cocks his head to one side. 'Nothing plain or old about vanilla - it's a very intriguing flavor,' he breathes.
'Since when?'
'Since last Saturday. Why? Were you hoping for something more exotic?'
My inner goddess pops her head above the parapet.
'Oh no. I've had enough exotic for one day.' My inner goddess pouts at me, failing miserably to hide her disappointment." -- YOUR INNER GODDESS IS YOU YOU CANNOT HIDE YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT FROM YOURSELF ALSO WHERE DID SHE GET A PARAPET
So Christian gets Ana into his room, gets her naked, and then things come to a screeching halt. She wonders if she should play hard to get and he's confused. He asks her, bewildered, "Don't you want to fuck?" and she says no. She wants him to make love to her. The problem: he thought they had already - last Saturday. She says she wants to touch him, but we all know that's a hard limit (and so does she), so her request kills the mood pretty fast. Then she has some quality time with her inner goddess. Wait, no. It's her subconscious. It's so hard to keep track of all of Ana's personalities.
"After all that I've done today, it's still the same ordinary girl gaping back at me. What did you expect - that you'd grow horns and a little pointy tail? my subconscious snaps at me. And what the hell are you doing? Touching is his hard limit. Too soon, you idiot. He needs to walk before he can run. My subconscious is furious, Medusa-like in her anger, hair flying, her hands clenched around her face like in Edvard Munch's The Scream. I ignore her, but she won't climb back into her box. You are making him mad - think about all that's he's said, all he's conceded." -- "that's he's" is not me making a typo, by the way. It's really in the book like that.
This is quality writing.
She brushes her teeth (with his toothbrush... ugh) and he knocks on the door.
"'Come in,' I splutter through a mouthful of toothpaste.
Christian stands in the doorway, his PJs hanging off his hips in that way that makes every little cell in my body stand up and take notice. He's bare-chested, and I drink him in like I'm crazed with thirst and he's clear, cool mountain spring water." -- laying it on a little thick, dontcha think?
Christian brushes his teeth (also with his toothbrush) and then joins Ana in the bedroom. After some boring, melodramatic discussion, Ana tells Christian that if he tells her why he's so fucked up, she'll let him spank her. I guess that makes sense, but it doesn't sound like a fair trade. Christian leaves the room and comes back with a new toy.
"He holds out his hand, and in his palm are two shiny silver balls linked with a thick black thread.
'These are new,' he says emphatically.
I look questioningly up at him.
'I am going to put these inside you, and then I'm going to spank you, not for punishment, but for your pleasure and mine.' He pauses, gauging my wide-eyed reaction.
Inside me! I gasp, and all the muscles deep in my belly clench. My inner goddess is doing the dance of the seven veils."
This is legitimately what Google gives you when you search "dance of the seven veils gif". You're welcome.
He puts the balls in her mouth because apparently, they need lubrication.
"I stand in front of him.
'Now turn around, bend down, and grab your ankles.'
I blink at him, and his expression darkens.
'Don't hesitate,' he admonishes me softly, an undercurrent in his voice, and he pops the balls in his mouth.
Fuck, this is sexier than the toothbrush." -- Sexier than the toothbrush. SEXIER THAN THE TOOTHBRUSH.
He's baaaack!
He inserts the balls, and tells her to stand up. The feeling is weird, but she likes it. Christian tells her to go get him a glass of water and that he'll spank her when she gets back. I'll spare you the details of that - and the sex that inevitably happens after. Christian goes to the bathroom and brings back lotion for Ana's poor backside, and she is eager for him to fulfill his side of the agreement.
"He sighs, slides in beside me, and pulls me into his arms. Careful not to touch my stinging behind, we are spooning again. He kisses me very softly beside my ear.
"'The woman who brought me into this world was a crack whore, Anastasia. Go to sleep.'
Holy fuck . . . what does that mean?
'Was?'
'She's dead.'
'How long?'
He sighs.
'She died when I was four. I don't really remember her. Carrick has given me some details. I only remember certain things. Please go to sleep.'
'Good night, Christian.'
'Good night, Ana.'
And I slip into a dazed and exhausted sleep, dreaming of a four-year-old gray-eyed boy in a dark, scary, miserable place."
