I'm officially past the halfway point (chapter 18 begins on page 315 of 514, so technically I've been more than halfway done for a little while, but it just became noticeable). I hope you're all as excited as I am. Twilight comes after this, which I'm sure will be a wonderful adventure and a nice break before carrying on to Fifty Shades Darker. BUT I'm getting ahead of myself. Still 200 pages left, so let's get this under way.
Ana is at Christian's and it's time for the appointment with the highly recommended gynaecologist that she doesn't need. Thankfully, this interaction is not detailed. Instead, we come in just after the examination to discover that Ana has decided to take "the mini pill". She whines for a second about how the doctor lectures her on taking it at the same time every day (this shit is why you get pregnant in two books, you idiot. pay attention!), and then leaves the room with the doctor in tow. The doctor leaves and Christian and Ana sit down to a chicken Caesar salad lunch. He asks what BC method she went for, and then seems dubious that she'll remember to take it every day - a nice little bit of foreshadowing. Then things heat up - because salad really gets Ana going.
"'Do you want to do this?' he breathes, looking down at me intently.
'I haven't signed anything.'
'I know - but I'm breaking all the rules these days.'
'Are you going to hit me?'
'Yes, but it won't be to hurt you. I don't want to punish you right now. If you'd caught me yesterday evening, well, that would have been a different story.'
Holy cow. He wants to hurt me . . . how do I deal with this? I can't hide the horror on my face." -- How are you still in his house? You don't like it when he hits you. He wants to hit you. I feel like these conflict enough that you should be getting the hell out of there, but what the fuck do I know?
Christian tries to reassure her by telling her that one of the reasons people participate in these kinds of relationships is that they like to either give or receive pain. An interesting way to reassure her, as she doesn't enjoy either of those things.
"'He pulls me against him, and his erection presses into my belly. I should run, but I can't. I'm drawn to him on some deep, elemental level that I can't begin to understand." -- He's a good fuck, sweetie. That's it. There is no 'elemental level', he's just a really great lay.
He tells her that he just wants to tie her up and fuck her senseless, then asks if she's ready for that.
"'Yes,' I breathe as everything in my body tightens at once . . . wow.
'Good. Come.' He takes my hand and, leaving all the dirty dishes on the breakfast bar, we head upstairs.
My heart starts pounding. This is it. I'm really going to do this. My inner goddess is spinning like a world-class ballerina, pirouette after pirouette."
She's beauty and she's graaaace.
He gets Ana into his Red Room of Pain and takes her through how she is to act when she's in there. She can't look him in the eye, she needs to show up naked, except for her panties, and she should be kneeling near the door with her legs open at an awkward angle. Sounds sexy. He tells her he's going to chain her up, and to give him her right hand. He hits it with a riding crop.
"Even more astonishing - it doesn't hurt. Well, not much, just a slight ringing sting.
'How does that feel?' he asks.
I blink at him, confused.
'Answer me.'
'Okay.' I frown.
'Don't frown.'
I blink and try for impassive. I succeed." -- How is this the kind of dialogue that inspired the "9 months ago, my mommy read Fifty Shades of Grey" onesies???
He attaches her to some kind of mobile grid system and stares at her for a while.
"'You look mighty fine trussed up like this, Miss Steele. And your smart mouth quiet for now. I like that.'" -- no one talks like thissssssssssssssssssss.
"Standing in front of me again, he hooks his fingers into my panties and, at a most unhurried pace, peels them down my legs, stripping me agonizingly slowly, so that he ends up kneeling in front of me. Not taking his eyes off mine, he scrunches my panties in his hand, holds them up to his nose, and inhales deeply. Holy fuck. Did he just do that?" -- unfortunately, yes.
As you can probably imagine (sorry), a lot of sex takes place now. I mean, a lot. Like 3 times in 8 pages. As expected, it's poorly written and boring, and somehow, Ana is practically asleep for most of it because her first orgasm takes so much out of her. We end the chapter with Christian leading Ana to bed. For sleep. Finally.
"He stoops to help me to my feet and leads me to the door, on the back of which hangs a gray waffle robe. He patiently dresses me as if I'm a small child. I don't have the strength to lift my arms." -- I seriously doubt this. also, why is everything in this book gray? I mean, I get that it's his last name, but Christ. His eyes are gray, the sky is gray, the robe is gray. Could we get any other color please???
"Suddenly, he scoops me up and carries me curled against his chest to the room down the corridor where earlier today Dr. Greene examined me. My head drops against his chest. I am exhausted. I don't remember ever being this tired. Pulling back the duvet, he lays me down and, even more surprisingly, climbs in beside me and holds me close.
'Sleep now, gorgeous girl,' he whispers, and he kisses my hair.
And before I can make a facetious comment, I'm asleep." -- you never say anything facetious. are you always on the verge of sleep?
Anyway, this is the end of the chapter. You're welcome.
